Aria's still feeling petulant about Jackie Morales's existence, despite Mom Ella moving back into the Montgomery house and Ezra prowling around the place in his PJ bottoms, but eventually she forgives him. He's still working at the school for now, though, so when A steals his diploma and stashes it as a warning to the Liars, it freaks Aria out several ways at once.
Where it gets stashed is Annabeth Gish's office, where the authorities and parents have decided the Liars will finally be getting their much-needed grief counseling. After lots of suspicious back-and-forth, the usual sketchy behavior of the PLLs, and the aforementioned A scheme, Dr. Anne decides that the girls are in over their heads, and suggests they be grounded from each other for the time being. Cue mopey teen-angst montage, of course, because they've never needed each other more.
Melissa's under the impression that her husband is on the run after the girls' blackmail attempt, despite numerous (and classically blunt) attempts by Spencer to disabuse her of this notion. After all, the last time we saw Ian he had been strangled to death in a clock tower. But by episode's end, the girls intercept a text conversation on Melissa's phone that may suggest otherwise.
Caleb and Lucas finally get back to Rosewood, but Hanna's not interested in Caleb's apologies. She runs off to yell at Mona about trashing his last goodbye letter, and guess who Mona's dating now? That's right, NOEL KAHN. Thank God he's back. Sadly, Mona can't even properly enjoy this windfall of fate since she's so upset by Hanna's anger over the letter thing.
Emily's still in danger of moving to Texas, but at least she and Toby are friends again. And although both the Cavanaughs and the Hastingses forbid it, Toby and Spencer are still going strong -- which doesn't seem to bother prickly Jenna quite as much these days, since she's still with her hot cop boyfriend. Things are actually looking pretty good for old Spencer all-around, considering her sister seems A) Honestly concerned for her and B) Willing to actually hear the story of Hilton Head and the clock tower for the first time with an open mind.
In the end, it looks like A might be renting Emily's house once she's gone -- like she's going anywhere -- which will work out nicely since Jason DiLaurentis has apparently bought his old house from Maya's parents. Ian may still be alive, A doesn't want the girls talking to their therapist collectively or separately, and Mona's probably about to do something drastic. Although, given her promise last season to hunkify Lucas as a present to Hanna, that might turn out to be amazing. Since they're not technically allowed to talk to each other for the time being, it might be a good idea to find a few distractions.
Want more? The full recap starts right below!
PREVIOUSLY
Hanna was dating werewolves and nerds, and then the nerds fell in love with the werewolves, and that's the kind of problems Hanna has. Then she beat up a blind girl. Her mom dated fake architects and evil cops, and established a gypsy camp for werewolves. Then Mona Vanderwaal involved herself, and everything went pear-shaped.
Ezra quit his job, the better to hold hands with children. Aria wrote poems about her sleazy dad, usually with feathers dangling from her shit, while Ella just went around being awesome all the time. The delightful Noel Kahn had a bit of a staring problem.
Spencer refused to let a little thing like creepiness/incest keep her from kissing the weird face of Toby Cavanaugh. Her sister is still presumably carrying a devil baby. The mysterious A saved Spencer from Ian, whose corpse ran away per Rosewood tradition.
Emily's maybe moving to Texas, which will undoubtedly send crazy old Paige 'round the bend for good. Maya, her previous girlfriend, was eaten by Christian wolves, and her home was purchased by Jason DiLaurentis, who will now be played by Sarah Chalke.
As for the mystery of Alison's death and the identity of A, nothing is certain except that Melissa and Ian may have been involved, Ian was stalking the young ladies of Rosewood going way back, and Jenna's been conducting a one-woman Liars Club investigation on all the clues, while dating that young cop guy Garrett. (You can tell him by how he looks exactly like every other guy on this show, but in a cop outfit.)
One thing we know for certain: Alison certainly will not be letting death keep her from being a total bitch.
MOMENTS LATER
Emily: "I am pretty sure Ian is a zombie. That's what the facts suggest."
Hanna: "Not even I am that ridiculous. And I date werewolves."
Jenna's Cop Boyfriend: "Time to go back to the station. We've already prepared your usual rooms."
Aria: "My parents and Ezra and Noel Kahn, though."
Jenna's Cop Boyfriend: "Everybody on this entire show will also be at the station, like usual."
Emily: "Of all the festivals that we hold in Rosewood every single day of the year, this has been the most freaky."
Hanna: "Don't jinx it. Nobody's run me over yet."
But where is Noel Kahn? This is important.
Spencer: "I thought we were going to the police station?"
Garrett: "No, you are going to be murdered execution-style in this warehouse."
Spencer: "I am not okay with that."
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