Pretty Little Liars
It's Alive!

Episode Report Card
Jacob Clifton: A+ | Grade It Now!
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Tear Off Your Own Head

Garrett: "It was just a joke. The deal is that my cop car is bugged, here's the serious. I'm glad you still have all your blackmail materials that I helped you with before, but you have to get your stories straight and leave me out of it."
Liars: "That sounds like a good idea. We love lying to the cops, plus it always works out."

Jenna, Even Though She Is Blind: "Staring. It's my main thing."

DEBRIEF

Spencer: "Weird how A killed Ian on my behalf."
Emily: "She is going to come after us with his power, like the Highlander."
Spencer: "She certainly looked like A, with the gloves and hoodie and all. And the killing people."
Aria: "I guess A's not Jenna. I know we've ruled her out like a hundred times, but now..."
Spencer: "Jenna is blind, while A moves like a ninja assassin."
Liars: "Not entirely compelling, but good enough for now."

Emily: "Well maybe we should tell the authorities about A."
Liars: "You say that every single week, and every single week we have to explain to you that A is a magical creature of the night and that is not a police matter. We don't live in Baywatch Nights."
Aria: "Blinder Of Girls is not the kind of reputation I need on my transcripts. It's going to be bad enough when I try to design my own curriculum based on Spoon River or whatever Ezra crap."

Spencer: "I'll make some coffee."
Liars: "Spencer, we've been meaning to talk to you about the coffee that you make. It makes us feel coked up."
Spencer, verbatim: "Amateurs."

It's weird going downstairs at Spencer's house and knowing for sure that Ian's not going to be down there, brutally slicing vegetables with a giant knife or skinning chicken breasts with a lunatic grin or tossing tofu menacingly in a light drizzle of olive oil.

DOWNSTAIRS

The entire cast of parents. All of them. Plus a healthy but random eyebrow guy I don't recognize that I guess is Spencer's dad.

Moms: "Girls, we have to talk about having an intervention because of how you ruined our whole family with your Ian stuff. Spencer's not the only one Of Interest in Alison's death now, plus maybe you killed Ian too. You all have to go to therapy now for grief counseling and Not Killing Ian counseling."
Hanna: "Uh, this is straight-up bullshit."
Spencer: "I can't help feeling like this is about you choosing Melissa over me."
Aria: "So where's Ian then, if he wasn't stalking us and then died and then disappeared?"
Dads: "We're not concerned with that right now. Nobody cares about Ian except you guys."

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Pretty Little Liars

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