Pretty Little Liars
It's Alive!

Episode Report Card
Jacob Clifton: A+ | Grade It Now!
Tear Off Your Own Head

And that's Mona. I believe that she loves Hanna very much, but I also think there's a part of her that wants to rip Hanna's head off and climb inside her body and drive it around like a Robotech.


Aria: "I still hate Noel Kahn so fucking much for no reason. I wish he was still suspended."
Spencer: "Nobody that awesome should ever be suspended, that's just a punishment for everybody else. Er, I mean, we hate him."

Ezra: "Hello, Student. Let us discuss essays or grades or slide rules."
Aria: "Hello, Instructor. I am discussing those things with my compatriot right now."
Spencer: "You're going to go anyway, so just go. It's fine."

Ezra: "Let me just close the door so we're suspiciously alone in this classroom with tons of curious people walking by outside."
Aria: "Jackie Molina. It doesn't matter than you came back to Season Two even hotter than before, the fact remains that you dated somebody one time and I'm a child and can't handle it."
Ezra: "Are you dumping me? Shall we never hold hands again?"
Aria: "Just, like, hold your other hand until I figure this out."


Spencer, characteristically: "Since they precisely told me not to come here, I'm going to go ahead and knock on the door."
Jenna: "I'm staaaaaaring at yooooou."
Spencer: "Hey, is Toby here?"
Jenna: "My parents are Montaguing their shorts right now. Consider yourselves broken up."

Spencer, to herself: "Colonel Spencer Hastings, reporting for hardcore fucking shit up."


Emily is dressed to the nines, sitting in bed, watching the video of Jenna fucking her brother for the one millionth time, because... I have no idea why she's watching it, I guess to get us up to speed about how Ian knew that Jenna was molesting her brother and thus has her own interest in keeping Spencer and Toby apart, given that the Liars don't know she's dating Garrett and still don't trust her, or vice versa. Anyway, way to be creepy Em.

And then speaking of, this dude in jeans is just hanging out in her doorway, watching Emily watch the incest porn, and it's pretty damn scary.

Mrs. Fields: "Oh, this is the realtor that will be renting out our house when we move to Texas."
Mr. Mendez: "Sorry I caught you watching porn. Put away all your personal belongings, and then we're going to destroy all your memories one by one, okay?"
Emily: "Never threaten a lesbian's sentimental objets. That shit will get you murdered."

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Pretty Little Liars




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