Some boys from the team sit down next to her -- football players love nothing more after school than to hang out at cupcake stores, shootin' the breeze and practicing how to kiss -- and it's real, real gross, and they go "Oink oink" and laugh at her, even though -- am I wrong about this? -- she's still technically the Regina George of Rosewood and dating but not fucking their quarterback. Has that changed?

Anyway, Hanna remembers the time she Heftily ate a whole pie and Alison immediately showed up to teach her the art of bulimia, wearing a ridiculous purple dress that looked more like a bathing suit with a belt. She hugged her fat crying ass and then thought to herself, "You know what would destroy the shit out of this girl?" And then stuck her finger down Hanna's throat. Bitch knows what she's doing. And in realtime, Hanna's still sucking down those cupcakes so her mom can keep buying crap.

Spotting naked girl legs waving around cutely in the air through Emily's half-open door, her mom of course shits a brick even though they're just giggling over a magazine. "Pam," says Maya stupidly, "I promise we were studying. That's all." Right sentiment, wrong form of address. If anything we can say that Maya is teaching us exactly how not to act around the mom of your gay boy- or girlfriend. Or not gay, actually, now that I think about it. If you've ever been the one coming into the unwelcome house. And I mean, precisely not. WWMND. Learn it, live it.

Anyway, Mom makes damn sure Maya knows it's "Mrs. Fields," and Maya bounces with a very stern "You didn't do anything wrong" to the chronically apologizing Emily, and once she's gone Emily says, and who could blame her, "For the first time in my life, I am ashamed that you're my mother." Heartbreaking for everybody, and again because it's so hard to draw the line between being weirded out by your kid dating v. your kid dating gay, because they're both eventually going to the scary place where no parent can directly look, so you get your adult politics mixed up with your very personal stuff, and it's an apocalypse but also the most common one I can think of.

So: Nia Peeples is a very gifted lady, and this is a very laudable storyline.

On TV, we're so used to taking whatever we can get that it's important to say that: The mere presence of gay teens is not enough. Good gay stories are what keep us from killing ourselves. And this show might be outdoing Degrassi in that department, as of right now.* Emily's not the Gay Character (that's Maya, and Noel) she's our Emily: Our Big Sweet Gay Emily. Mrs. Fields is not the Issues Voter That Will Eventually Come Around, she's this complicated, unbelievably strong, fairly awesome woman who happens to find herself horrified by what a bitch she's being, but can't stop.