It's funny because Mona is maybe even a little more awesome in the books, but Hanna is so fucking gross you wouldn't believe it. I kind of love her best, on the show, but I had to stop reading the books because I hated Hanna so much. She's like this bulimic Marissa Cooper, crossed with Elizabeth Wurtzel and Julie Powell and Anastasia and Drizella Tremaine. Horrible person. Not even funny-awful, just nasty. She even made Aria seem like less of a douchebag. Reading her chapters was like putting on an oily pair of pants.

Spencer assures Aria that Ali wasn't the one that wrote ALISON + IAN on that tree that time, because it's "tacky," but they know Ian isn't A because he was with Melissa, which brings them back to Noel. More explanations -- the Emily/Maya pics were stolen at Noel's party, etc. -- but Aria's not having it. And, as she points out, Spencer was just this solidly sure about Toby last night. Spencer doesn't care to hear it: "A or not, you still need to know what Noel saw, and what he plans to do about it." Which is true. Stalkers and murders and whatnot are all quite fun, but really, you are seriously helping Ezra ruin his own life.

After visiting hours, Lucas creeps into the hospital room like a creepster with mud on his shoes, and kisses Hanna on the forehead before ducking out again. Hanna is awake but doesn't do anything, and then when he's gone she's like, "What just happened?" Well, honey, what happened is that the guy you knew liked you -- whom you've been pushing toward the edge every single day since you figured it out -- has been activated to full liking of you by the fact that you got hit by a car and are dating a toolbox of unbelievable proportion. Whom you hate as much as Lucas does. Is that not exactly what you thought/know happened? Because you've been working his ass since he showed up. Come on. Boys are the easiest thing in the world. Own it.

Ashley shows up later to ask more inconvenient questions and point out the gorgeous orchids Sean brought by earlier, and then Hanna asks her if they really need to be in a private room, what with being broke ass. Ashley assures her that their money problems are over, due to a "professional courtesy" from the bank -- because banks love giving money to people in default, it's how they pay it forward -- and thus she should spend this money on an unnecessary hospital room. I mean, I guess Ashley makes sense but you also just have to wonder. I mean, Hanna didn't get to how she is on her own.