Pretty Little Liars

Episode Report Card
Jacob Clifton: A+ | 1 USERS: A+
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I.C.U.

The Liars -- still in their awesome Camp Mona gear -- are all pacing around the hospital waiting for Mrs. Marin to come with news. Of course, Lucas is there in the shadows, which weirds Ashley out even more since he is a big hermaphrodite secret and they haven't met. Everybody's on their phones, but they hang up when Ashley arrives and does some excellent acting about how Hanna has a broken leg and ankle and bruised ribs and endangered spleen. She keeps bugging the girls to find out what happened, because the story -- this car came zooming at her for no reason, she inelegantly rolled the length of the car onto her face, the car sped away -- is not that compelling a narrative. I mean, if you saw it, it was freakin' hilarious, but hearing about it is not so funny.

So the car was stolen from a campground lot, not helpful, and Spencer immediately starts yelling about how it was clearly Toby Cavanaugh, because Spencer always thinks it was Toby Cavanaugh. Who ate my Yoplait? Probably Toby Cavanaugh. Ashley explains how Emily accidentally sicced the cops on him at that church (I forget how that went down exactly, do we know who called the cops?) and sends the girls home. Of course, the last thing Hanna said was that she knew who A was, so they're not super down with that plan. They have one of those conferences where they explain basic shit to each other, and Emily wants to tell everybody everything, total disclosure, but Spencer's not having that, so they agree to leave Hanna with her very trustworthy mother and break.

Spencer runs home and straight into Melissa's arms, and Melissa stares weirdly into space the whole time she's telling her the story, as if she is A. Ian appears with his shirt hanging open, I guess from the barn, and asks if Hanna's okay. Because he cares about young girls and their welfare a serious amount, but also because he was fucking Alison and probably killed her and probably will kill everybody. He cancels practice on Monday and heads back out to the barn so that Spencer can ask Melissa why she is suddenly sleeping with Ian again. She says it's because she feels like it, and go to bed, but she doesn't make Spencer promise not to sleep with him which is her bad.

Hanna's finally awake and Ashley's doing her whole "when they find the maniac who did this to you" thing, I guess because she thinks she can sleep with car accidents now to get Hanna out of trouble, and immediately Hanna wants to talk to the Liars because she knows who A is, and doesn't care about Sean or Lucas coming to the hospital at all, because Stalkers Before Hos. Ashley gets all mothery about how she just needs to rest and she can see them when she sees them, and Hanna settles into a long night of feeling weird. It's hard to get your cardio in, when your whole body is in pieces.

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Pretty Little Liars

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