Pretty Little Liars

Episode Report Card
Jacob Clifton: A+ | 1 USERS: A+

Spencer assures Aria that Ali wasn't the one that wrote ALISON + IAN on that tree that time, because it's "tacky," but they know Ian isn't A because he was with Melissa, which brings them back to Noel. More explanations -- the Emily/Maya pics were stolen at Noel's party, etc. -- but Aria's not having it. And, as she points out, Spencer was just this solidly sure about Toby last night. Spencer doesn't care to hear it: "A or not, you still need to know what Noel saw, and what he plans to do about it." Which is true. Stalkers and murders and whatnot are all quite fun, but really, you are seriously helping Ezra ruin his own life.

After visiting hours, Lucas creeps into the hospital room like a creepster with mud on his shoes, and kisses Hanna on the forehead before ducking out again. Hanna is awake but doesn't do anything, and then when he's gone she's like, "What just happened?" Well, honey, what happened is that the guy you knew liked you -- whom you've been pushing toward the edge every single day since you figured it out -- has been activated to full liking of you by the fact that you got hit by a car and are dating a toolbox of unbelievable proportion. Whom you hate as much as Lucas does. Is that not exactly what you thought/know happened? Because you've been working his ass since he showed up. Come on. Boys are the easiest thing in the world. Own it.

Ashley shows up later to ask more inconvenient questions and point out the gorgeous orchids Sean brought by earlier, and then Hanna asks her if they really need to be in a private room, what with being broke ass. Ashley assures her that their money problems are over, due to a "professional courtesy" from the bank -- because banks love giving money to people in default, it's how they pay it forward -- and thus she should spend this money on an unnecessary hospital room. I mean, I guess Ashley makes sense but you also just have to wonder. I mean, Hanna didn't get to how she is on her own.

So this is what Aria is wearing. A magenta lace-top chemise like a hooker would wear, under a leopard cardigan, which I mean, with some belted black leather mini-shorts, fishnets, and knee-high boots. Only one necklace, but it weighs about six pounds. Of all the Aria outfits, this is the Ariest. How can people even look at you? How can people even deal with you, sitting in the music room playing plaintive tunes on the keyboard and staring wetly into space and waiting for somebody, anybody, to come and ask what's wrong? You'll wait forever, dear. Nobody cares. We've all got our own stuff to deal with, on any given day, and when we see something like you coming, with your ten-pound bag of bullshit, we know to run the other way.

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Pretty Little Liars




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