Pretty Little Liars

Episode Report Card
Jacob Clifton: A+ | 1 USERS: A+

Hanna begs Alison for the truth, but she just shakes her head. "It won't make any difference, darling. You think the truth is some big shiny disco ball of purity? Then go ahead and try it. Be 'honest.' See what it gets you. Telling the truth to the wrong person at the wrong time is how I ended up where I am. Take it from me, you're always better off with a really good lie." At the door, she turns: "I was so scared that you were going to die. That's why I came back. I didn't care how dangerous it was, I had to see you." Mysterious and magical! And then again: "You know, I really should do something about A. That bitch is genuinely getting on my nerves."

Ezra and Aria go to the classroom they've apparently reserved for their nonstop secret meetings where anybody can walk by in the middle of the day so they can discuss how they should not have yelled or gotten all stressed out about the writing on the car, and how they should keep going out and feeling weird about it, and I guess probably they talk about some other shit too, but my God.

Did she tell Mr. Fitz about Noel? Well first of all, Aria will have you know, "His name's Ezra." Spencer points out that of course she can call him whatever she wants, but he's still a teacher, and the implication is that they are both gross, and Aria can't tell him about how Noel saw and wrote on the windshield, because then Ezra would freak out some more and she just got him calmed down. I think that's the whole reason. She admits she was never really dating Noel, he was just kind of her unwitting beard, and then says some awesome words: "I just don't know how hard to push him, but I know that it's a one-way street. So once I say something to anybody, I can't take it back." Even Spencer agrees that this is a sound sentiment.

Lucas brings Hanna all the pudding in the hospital, because I guess he's a feeder and wants her to be fat again or else just fat enough to date his loser ass, and because she's a freak ("I like the little bumps") she chooses tapioca, which nobody in history has ever actually done. She tells him to stop skipping school and he says he's doing community service and that he's practicing lying for when he becomes a politician, and then they have the Friend Zone talk. It's pretty much a bloody mess, but that conversation always is. Which is why you should just not say anything, I think.

Although Hanna is operating at a reality deficiency, what with people appearing and disappearing and dead people showing up, so it makes sense that she should find out if he really did creep into her room after visiting hours and kiss her forehead, so I can see how she got there. She admits she was awake when it happened, which for a second he thinks is a good sign, but then she educates him on how they are friends and she likes him a whole lot and doesn't want to jeopardize their relationship by being fake with him, which is pretty reasonable. And he throws a fucking fit, which generally would make him the loser, but as he's leaving he says the perfectly correct thing, which is that if he doesn't throw the fit she'll think he's okay with being in the FZ, which he is not. So I'd call this one a draw.

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Pretty Little Liars




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