Pretty Little Liars
Mona-Mania!

Episode Report Card
Jacob Clifton: A+ | 8 USERS: A+
YOU GRADE IT
Do It To So-And-So

Lucas: "...And then once she was in Radley, I had to bring her an envelope from Jason DiLaurentis. And then lately she tried to run me over when I tried to get out."

Was that the pills that Emily and Paige roofied each other with? Or another envelope? Because I was pretty sure Jason stopped doing drugs. I think he might have mentioned that at one point.

Anyway, Lucas continues giving us the answers to a lot of the A-Team Infighting stuff that's been going on: It's a pyramid scheme, so Lucas only ever worked under Mona, so we still think it's just Mona. He was a middleman, kept in check because she knew he was selling test answers (oh Lucas, you wonderful slimeball), but now that he's out and she's resorted to vehicular, he's decided to drop out and homeschool.

At least this time he doesn't have to re-sell all the memorabilia he bought and then sold off to pay Caleb and then apparently bought again with his new source of income. This time, he can just sit in there all day. Lookin' at it. Just like Nicolas Cage.

MONTGOMERY

Ezra: "I am too busy writing to be in a relationship! But I miss you!"
Aria: "It's okay, I feel weird about like everything right now so I don't care. Being a grownup can be very numbing!"
Ezra: "Nice chatting with you! We are interesting and so grown-up!"

Aria hears, and then interrupts, Byron getting physical with Meredith's burnt arm right outside her bedroom door. Something about how she needs to keep her stupid face out of his stupid family business and go work on her turnout, I think. Meredith wants to know something about Aria, because she is fucking nosy, and Byron won't tell her about whatever it is, presumably because he is a maniac.

SWIM & GET MURDERED IN THE WOODS PARTY

Paige: "I am having a panic attack because we have driven so far into the woods. I have to freak out and wear flannel now."
Emily: "Like, it's just a party. With hot girls."
Paige: "No, this goes crazy deep. I am becoming a homebound agoraphobic due to being punched in the boob by a man in a dress. I told you I was grounded too? Lie. I am grounded by my own deep craziness. I was only able to keep this very important, sad and crazy secret from you because you are grounded in reality."
Emily: "You are literally worse at being somebody's girlfriend than anyone on this show. Which I will remind you also includes an incest enthusiast and about thirty statutory rapists."

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Pretty Little Liars

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