Emily: "I'm out. They don't pay me to be part of bitching."
Paige: "Where are you going!?"
Emily: "You were totally mean to Samara for no reason, and um you tried to drown me one time before, and plus I'm suddenly carrying your sex shame and being your secret and everything that this season has been about not doing. It Gets Better."
Samara: "This is just what I was saying about lesbian drama, before. I dump girls like this, and then date normal non-drama girls like you and me, and they can go fuck themselves. Which they were going to do anyway."
Emily: "Yeah, gimme a minute. Without a mentally ill rabbit to constantly pet and rub and love and stroke and kiss and hold and nurture I don't know that I have a lot to offer."
Samara, generally: "Oh my GOD it is not this complicated."
(Whatever booth Hanna and Mona are working.)
Mona: "Did you really expect me to help-help, Prom Queen? I'm here to verbatim make sure you don't host a pity party for yourself and invite a cheesecake."
Hanna: (Sweetly smiles because that's actually a funny line and nobody's gonna get anywhere by treating eating disorders any other way than what they are, which is a fabulous way to fuck yourself over like an idiot.)
Mona: "Here comes Sketchy the Wolf. You duck over there so I can absorb the total heat of his sexy apology energy, promise to give you a letter, open that letter immediately -- the actually shitty part -- and then tear it into pieces and pour a slushie all over it like Rachel Berry's cute little crazypants face."
Hanna: (Nonetheless surprised that Caleb came all the way over there and yet did not apologize wonderfully like anybody would.)
The Letter: (All I know is, it said I LOVE YOU HANNA, and I got a little teary.)
Ian: "Spencer I swear to God I am going to murder you."
Spencer: "Kiss my ass. This train to Crazytown is an express line, there are zero stops."
Ian: "No but for real, you are going to be murdered. By me."
Spencer: "Every time you say that, I grow another head."
Aria and Ezra: (Forever with this bullshit.)