Lucas: "I'll try to fit you into my schedule. I noticed you don't have friends anymore, and I can identify with that. From when you were my only friend. Who still bullied me."
Hanna: "Yeah. It's like I got run over by a car called psychotherapy."
Lucas: "I guess you can hang out with us. With me and our werewolf boyfriend. Just the three of us. I don't see that getting awkward."
Aria, complete with hipster rooster feathers: "I hate my student ID! This is the level I operate on. Now that you're not statutory raping me, I have to focus on the big issues like my constantly getting beat up by shadowy strangers, and these haunted text messages, and my dead friend. And my student ID."
Ezra: "You do look thuggish in it, but I like it."
Aria: "I was getting thuggy thinking about you and your hairless body."
Ezra: "I missed you so much. Holding hands."
Aria: "I love holding your hand. God, this is hot."
Jackie Molina: "They have stepped it up to kissing. I am going to mess everything up! Leaving you at the altar in Italy is nothing compared to what I'm going to do."
Jenna: "I've got it covered, Jackie!"
Jenna is in Aria's pottery class. Because when you're taking college credits, you should do core-curricular subjects like Ceramics. That's the sensible thing to do if you want to start out ahead. With parents in the educational system, you'd be assured of guidance like this.
Jenna: "You be Demi Moore, I'll be Whoopi Goldberg."
Just kidding, she's blind. Not even Aria's clothes are loud enough today that Jenna can tell it's her. I hope Aria uses her nonexistent ability to STFU and keep this secret for a minute.
Spencer spots somebody moving the curtains around. For once, it's probably not Jenna.
Jason: "Spencer, nice to see you lurking around like always."
Spencer: "Does somebody else live here? Named Ian?"
Jason: "Nobody here but me and my variety of form-fitting racerback wifebeaters."
He stalks off, blasting his delts like he's holding his breath à la Naked Fitz. Spencer checks her apps, but so far nobody that is a zombie has checked in at this location.
Spencer: "Hey Emily, since we're not allowed to talk I thought I should tell you that the curtains at Jason's house are acting majorly suspicious."
Emily, verbatim: "Sometimes when all you have is a hammer, everything starts looking like a nail."
Spencer: "That is the most astute thing anyone has ever said to me in my entire life."