Emily: "Call Toby if you feel like bad guys are going to show up at your house."
Spencer: "First of all, bad guys are constantly barging into my house. Secondly, Toby is kind of a girl."
Emily: "You're right, he can't handle getting punched in the boob by a ghost-ninja like we constantly are."
Pam: "Emily, is that one of your friends you're not allowed to talk to? Say hi!"
HASTINGS HOUSE OF ANXIETY
Spencer creeps out and stares through the window at Jason; feels weird.
Spencer and Emily were having a sleepover and Alison came over because Jason was throwing a rager next door. Her fear was that one of the hundred drug addict rapists in her house might attack her.
Alison: "I should call our grandmother in Hilton Head and get him cut out of her will."
Spencer: "That's cool that you came over in pajamas. Make yourself at home."
Alison: "Done. I own your ass."
Spencer: "Emily, stop staring."
Alison: "Emily, do not stop staring."
Ali looked at herself hard in the window over Spencer's sink and started crying. I think maybe something really, really bad happened. She said it was just being sad about their grandma -- but like, whenever she says "grandma" you should just substitute some intense sexual thing at this point -- and then she took a bite out of an apple. Possibly this was a scary metaphor. I hope not. The idea of bad things happening to Alison, while in real life you could basically assume them, it's a weird reversal of physics in this particular universe.
Pam: "Oh, is that one of your friends you're not allowed to talk to?"
Emily: "No, it's my lesbian girlfriend. One of them."
Pam: "Cool, say hi!"
Emily: "Things have changed in this house, haven't they."
Spencer: "I just got a visit from the Flashback Fairy. Remember that time with the apple?"
Emily: "This story is going to have Ian in it, I bet. Somehow."
Spencer: "New theory: Jason was also involved in Ali's death."
Emily: "You are going to end up blaming every single person, aren't you?"
Spencer: "The facts suggest that this is a sensible course. PS, everybody is also A."
Hanna: "Lucas, it's so fun being helpful and doing things for others."
Lucas: "You are scaring the shit out of me."
Hanna: "Are you crushing on that girl over there?"
Lucas: "Please don't get your ass involved in my things. You are a walking disaster."
Hanna: "Nope. Here I come!"
Lucas: "It's kind of sickening for you to involve yourself in my love life now."
Hanna: "I can kind of see your point. And yet."