Aria immediately locates some quieter shoes and puts away all her stupid dangly jewelry the better to lurk around Pottery not speaking and spy on poor fuckin' Jenna all the time.
Spencer finds the wedding ring hidden behind the toaster, and the music shits itself.
I honestly don't know what that's about. Is she going to keep hiding it so that Melissa will be her pregnant human shield? Is she going to save the day by finding it? Is she going to hold it ransom until she can get Melissa to agree that her husband is a pedophile?
So many crazy things for crazy Spencer to be thinking!
Dad: "No, I'm not attempting to become a bigamist! Don't be ridiculous, honey! You know I hate my old family and want nothing more than a handjob from my ex-wife! Listen. My daughter just walked in, I'll call you back."
Hanna: "Shit, does this mean we're alone? No thanks."
Dad: "I'm just fighting with your new stepmom about our wedding."
Hanna: "Mom is going to be on you like white on rice if she finds this out."
Dad: "Oh, trust me. She's got my number."
Hanna: I don't know what she's thinking either. Probably that if she can get her parents back together, it will turn time backwards like Superman flying around the Earth and then everything will be okay. Alison will still be dead and she'll still be skinny, but everything else will go back to normal. That's what I would be hoping.
In a normal show that's what the broken-home cliché person would be thinking. Only instead of Aria stuff like having family dinner and that, here it's more about not getting run over by a car all the time, or forced to prostitute yourself at school dances, or eat whole cartons of cupcakes in front of the football team. I love Hanna so I'm glad A is leaving her alone this season, but A was always so creative about fucking with her.
Aria: "Rule number one is, if your parents are sneaking around with each other, you don't want to get involved. Last time we went poking around there, you ended up losing your virginity to a werewolf that lived in the walls."
Hanna: "I prefer not to learn from my experiences. Hey Emily, is that a forged offer letter?"
Emily: Made up entirely of grim resolution.
Aria: "I believe this fake letter is real! Because Emily is stalwart! And I'm the dumb one this week!"
Emily: "...No, girl. I wrote this letter."
Hanna: "Loving this! Defraud me into Harvard!"