Meanwhile, Lucas is so in love with this girl Danielle, and Hanna talks him up to her a whole lot, like how Lucas is this famous photographer. There's a really cute shot of Danielle working around one of the passed-out yearbook people, patting him on the head, that equals instant likeability. Then Hanna tells Danielle that Lucas is a hot property. It's always funny when the nerd takes off his or her glasses and we can stop pretending that the attractive young actor on the show is actually unattractive inside the show.
Theory: This is going to piss off Lucas at first, but then Hanna's going to make him trust her, and she's going to mean it and actually be working in his best interests, but then something terrible will happen, the girl will be disfigured or something because of A, and then Lucas will be mad again, and somehow cockblock her with Caleb in retaliation, or go back to being a wheezy stalker. Marky-mark my words.
Where's Spencer? Hocking that fucking thing to get Toby out of working for Jason. Maybe the worst and dumbest thing she's ever done. Spencer's parents can be a downer but I never thought they were so necessary to keep her from getting felonious. I hope they come back to town soon.
These Little Liars! Moving into a whole new act of the season, I guess. Making terrible calls all over the place, new weird friends, lying to everybody, doing actual crimes. I love it!
BUT STILL, SPENCER
Lucas: "Hanna, how dare you tell Danielle that I am a famous photographer? She wants to take me to coffee. How dare you!"
Hanna: "Honestly, trying to be cool."
Lucas: "Last time I was your human shield/prostitution john for your breakup with Sean."
Hanna: "Maybe I just care about you. Maybe I want to steal back my werewolf. Maybe I'm turning into Mona and messing with lives because I miss the Liars. Gift horse, mister. Please stop judging me by my terrible behavior. Sometimes people change."
Lucas: Stupidly buys it.
Hanna: Also buys it.
Theory: Chugging along just fine. Nice knowing you and your pretty face, Danielle.
BUT STILL, EMILY
Emily is also up to no good, some more. I feel like this letter took longer than most Pulitzer-winning manuscripts. She's been dragging it around like Stevie Nicks's heart; forging it longer than Hanzo takes to make a sword.
Pam: "I was just going to toss out some of your childhood if you'd like to take a look..."
Pam: "Okay, we'll take this one box with us to Texas. Now, let's have a frank talk about your sexuality and how I will always love you, and trust is the center of our new and accepting relationship."
Emily: "Agreed on all counts. Except for my huge lie I'm about to perpetrate."