FASHION ADVENTURE TIME
Mona: "Hey Spencer, thanks for folding all those programs but we got a whole new set mocked up and done while you were stapling and folding."
Spencer: "Why did you do this?"
Mona: "Because you like folding and stapling?"
Spencer: "That's true, it is a favorite activity. But I feel like you are mutinying."
Mona: "Oh, I am the head of the committee now. That already happened."
Spencer: "Where was I?"
Mona: "Um, persecuting your sister's husband, discovering his corpse, being accused of stalking and murder and four-way hysterical craziness, going to jail, going to therapy, dating Boo Radley, stealing wedding rings, hanging out at pawn shops, driving trucks around looking sexy, blackmailing pedophiles, staking out motel rooms, being essentially parentless, and abusing your sister's fragile mind?"
Mona: "Also, Noel Kahn is our DJ now. You probably knew that from the thrilling feeling you just felt when he walked in."
Noel Kahn: Sparkles at Spencer in that sketchy way you already knew he would.
HEMMING & HAWING
Samara: "So, this dress I'm altering looks really good on you. You can barely tell it belongs to a dead girl."
Emily: "I am either the most oblivious or the most devious girl in the universe, but either way I'm going to change out of this dress right in front of you while fake Ladytron plays in the background. This will stir up such strong lesbianism in you that possibly we will kiss or something insane like that."
Samara: "Nope, I'm good."
Ella: "No, Hanna's right and this is way fucked up. Do you want me to call drunk old Jessica and tell her so?"
Aria: "No, I don't really care one way or the other. I need some advice, though."
Ella: (Is excited to be giving Aria her first advice.)
Aria: "Do you believe that a person can be in a 24-hour fugue state and maybe kill their sister but not remember it and then a ghost ninja stalker killer can impersonate the dead person and send texts?"
Ella: "No, but crazy is a thing. This sounds intense. I better not probe deeper."
Aria: "Fine. I'm asking you about boys and you're just being..."
Ella: "This was a question about boys? Are you dumping Fitz for Jason? Do you not remember his half-naked hipster body?"