A-Tag: A buys Tory Burch boots just like Therapy Anne likes to wear, and hilariously buys them off a site that is as hilariously and determinedly generic as that Website Page website that's so hot with the teens and cyberbullies these days. The music is like so excited about this that you start wondering whether the boots are, I don't know. Haunted.
Next week: DJ Noel Kahn goes on a whirlwind tour of Europe narrated in first person voiceover and filmed by Roger Avary in a documentary style. Pam finds some reason not to go to Texas after Emily moves to Hanna's; turns out she just wanted to clean the house all day without being bothered by other people and now has her wish. Ashley Marin somehow throws Emily into the mix w/r/t manipulating Hanna's Dad. Mona Vanderwaal, still pissed over the ruination of the fashion show, tracks down A in about five seconds and subjects her to a savage meangirling. Ezra Fitz turns up in a diner somewhere in the Midwest, having contracted Rosewood Syndrome, and Jackie Molina convinces him that they are married and have a baby together, and that baby is: Lucas.