Aria: "Emily, are you okay?"
Emily: "Rassin'-frassin'... I'll tell you what, if I don't get to the bottom of this Samara stuff I'll go insane. I've already had two girlfriends abruptly disappear in the middle of their storylines. I cannot take much fuckin' more of this, not when I've got college admissions fraud and a serial killer on my plate too. There's only so much Emily to go around."
Hanna: "I'm fucking bored. I'm going to go steal some champagne like Summer Roberts in this same episode."
(Her parents -- Ashley in a gorgeous red satin number -- act all romantic but above-board but really they are totally still in love and Ashley is playing a long con to get her husband back using her daughter's emotional distress that will ultimately fail in some way, presumably. I'm just tired of waiting for Hanna to have a bitch stepsister, that's always seemed like the most exciting thing you could see, because Hanna is so good at ignoring stuff that putting a big dumb sister in her face would be amazing. Anyway, Hanna sees them dancing together in secret, near the bar of course, and on the one hand she feels vindicated in her holy rage but on the other hand, wouldn't it be cool?)
"The Eighth Annual Rosewood High Charity Fashion Show is about to begin. Each year local leaders choose a charity and plan their very own fundraising fashion show. And each year the city of Rosewood turns out to support our youth as they give us their time, energy and enthusiasm... lessons in generosity... Please give a warm welcome to Mrs. Jessica DiLaurentis..."
...Nope, still not clear on what we're doing here, but whatever.
Samara: "You look pretty."
Emily: "THEN WHY ARE YOU MARRYING ANOTHER WOMAN."
Samara: "Just kidding, she's my longtime BFF but we're not dating. I'm with you!"
Emily: "Sometimes being a teenager means instant paranoia."
Samara: "Sometimes being a lesbian means feelings. I get it. I get it."
Emily: "So that's a yes, then. We are in love?"
Mona: "-- LAST LOOKS, PEOPLE!"
Aria: "Hanna, a word?"
Hanna: "A word, Aria? Or many words."
Aria: "I've been up your ass about Caleb all episode, not that Jacob saw fit to recap it because it's just shoehorned in to cover the fact that I'm not talking about boys this week so I'm talking about yours instead, but anyway Caleb is here and looking fine. I command you to go back out with him."