Pretty Little Liars
Never Letting Go

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Jacob Clifton: A+ | Grade It Now!
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Destroy Everything You Touch
In a hurry? Read the recaplet for a nutshell description!

Pretty Previously, Ian's dead body didn't actually commit suicide and confess to Alison's murder, which Spencer was like That's so typical, and we found out that Alison didn't even die anyway. At least during her sex tape. Which is also so very typical.

Pretty Presently, the Liars are folding flyers for the big Rosewood fashion show that they hold for no reason, and talking about serial killers and suicide and pedophiles and fashion tips and boy problems like they're all of equal value.

Liars: "What even happened on this show, or ever happens on this show?"
Spencer: "I hate how Ian didn't strangle her. Remember when Ian tried to murder me in that bell tower because Alison left us his stalker tapes in the form of a lunchbox that you could only find by accessing a secret compartment in a snow globe? Remember? I bet he somehow still killed her sometime after that tape shows he didn't kill her."
Liars: (Sigh.)
Hanna: "Once you eliminate the impossible, whatever remains -- no matter how improbable -- must be the truth. It is my belief that A killed our friend and is now impersonating her ghost."
Liars: (Stare at each other for like one hot second about the seemingly instant and fascinating truth about this, but then rather than exploring it they abruptly change the subject to their provisional love lives.)

Liars: "So, did you invite [Ezra/Caleb/Samara/Toby] to the show?"
Corresponding Liars: "[You mean Jason/not dating him/of course/of course]."
Hanna: "I am not dating Caleb. Even when we kissed, I wore the wrong gloss. Wet look."
Emily: "Ew, did his long silky werewolf hair get stuck on it? I know about that from dating girls all the time."
Aria, glumly: "...Me too, from Fitz. Jason's not like that, his way-girly face and long surfer hair notwithstanding."
Spencer: "Stop with the yammering and fold. Mona Vanderwaal is already up my A trying to take this fashion committee away from me. You can only answer texts if they are from Ezra, because now I believe in love."
Liars: "Ooooooooo!"

Spencer, verbatim: "I was always a romantic. Under a thin veneer of pragmatism. And a few shockingly bad choices."

Aria: "I'm going to pretend this text was from Ezra, but really it's from Jason DiLaurentis, whose badboy convertible is waiting downstairs so he can stare at me with such intensity you might barf just from the stress. I am drawn to him like a moth to a flame for reasons I myself cannot fathom."
Liars: "Good thing we're so immune that the second you said Ezra all our brains switched off!"

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Pretty Little Liars

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