Oh my goodness! What a fantastic time to be into this show lately, am I right? The hits just keep coming. Spencer's losing her mind over the Toby reveAl, Paige and Caleb are cooking up some secret countermeasures to protect the Liars, Aria's just about run down the clock on Ezra's secret child, and without Spencer around to keep 'em in line, everything's falling apart.

Very haggard and spent, but still beautiful in a frightening way, Spencer spends the day mouthin' off to Ella and skippin' school, and eventually is so primed to explode that it takes a single fake Aria text to send her right up into Ezra's face about the baby secret. Of course, he doesn't know about that yet, so this was actually a cunning way for A to aim the weapon that is Spencer Hastings at another vulnerable Liar, but in the end it works out pretty well: Aria's off the hook, Ezra understands, Maggie is a loser. (Oh, and we learn Meredith's now on lockdown since apparently Aria's not the first person she's poisoned and chased around the house with a knife. LOL.)

I mean, Ezra dumps her and leaves town in the end, but it's not like he's really been around that much anyway. I'm sure Aria will be devastated, which should be hilarious. And I'm guessing it means Wesley's back in the mix. For her part, Spencer ends the episode hiring a private detective -- if not an assassin -- to get to the bottom of the A-Lair and Toby's business. She is going dark as hell, and it is a beautiful thing to watch.

Cousin Nate sends Emily a box of Maya's old junk, as a sort of apology for how their son forced her to stab him to death, but of course it contains a clue which changes everything: Alison feared for her life because she got pregnant at the Jersey Shore, and presumably was killed to keep the secret. It's only seconds after she hands the notebook in question over to Detective Wilden that they realize who her fertile lover was: None other than Wilden himself. Making Alison and Ashley Eskimo Sisters, of a sort. No shame in that game.

Did I mention Toby wearing a do-rag? That was very important. It seems that Alison, because she had so much free time, once visited him in juvie, and that's how we learn that Toby used to dress like he was on The Wire. It's incredible.

Hanna overhears Paige discussing the B-Team with Caleb (and copping to the locker-brain prank in the process) so in order to protect everybody from their schemes drawing more hellfire down on them, she follows Paige to a lesbian bar. It's an outstandingly hilarious sequence of events involving thrown drinks and mistaken identities, but in the end she only comes away soaking wet and quite sure Emily's getting cheated on. It also produces this conversation:

Hanna: "I just accepted it from some random girl who thought I'd like pink drinks, I wasn't going to get drunk..."
Ashley: "What is a pinkdrink? Is it code? For something gay?"

Yeah. No, but kind of. This show is so amazing.

Next Week: Therapy Anne! Hypnotizing Emily! False memories of murdering Alison! Wesley Fitzgerald! Mona decides to start some more shit! Spencer continues to be insane in all directions and look like she has an alien being, or Jenna Marshall, inhabiting her body! Her very soul!