Ashley Marin: (Shitting it because Hanna's still not home.)
Hanna: "I'm home, bitch."
Ashley: "Did you enjoy your night of being homeless with a werewolf?"
Hanna: "Actually we went camping, to make my irrational behavior even more of an adventure. I finally earned my badges for Campfires, Stag-Killing, Tent-Erecting and Berry-Foraging. Also for Fucking."
Ashley: "Well, I'm glad you're home."
Hanna: "Are you kidding me? I live in the forest now."
Hanna: "Allow me to draw a spurious parallel between Caleb's situation as an abused foster-child werewolf, and your situation as a cop-screwing old-lady mugger. At least that old lady had the decency to drop dead, can't you at least give him the guestroom?"
Ashley: "That makes very little sense, but the tree does not fall far from the apple, and so I will take it into consideration."
Caleb: (Calls Hanna's phone a split second after Hanna's in the shower.)
Ashley: "Hanna's phone. Your Doom speaking."
Toby and Spencer revisit their Scrabble brain-sex and talk about how their homes are both violently inappropriate right now: Toby's because he is alone with Darkness Incarnate, and Spencer because she can't stop ruining her sister's marriage no matter how hard they try to get her to cut it out. Suddenly, they kiss and it's lovely, and Toby manages to be somewhat smooth, which is even more welcome. Emily was like Dumbo's feather, and now he can fly without it. "Fly," in this case, meaning "act normal for a hot minute."
Turns out Ashley did not summon Caleb to the house in order to gut him like a fish over Hanna's campfire, but in fact to feed him food and give him hell -- "Help yourself to a soda, like you've been doing" -- and then abruptly ask him to come live with them, legit-style. Because she identifies with him, a little, but mostly because she knows she's in danger of losing Hanna. Which means that it's so important to Hanna that she's being a better parent by showing she trusts Hanna's judgment than by forbidding (anything, for the first time in Hanna's life).













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