Pretty Little Liars
Reality Bites Me

Episode Report Card
Angel Cohn: B- | 1 USERS: B+
All Mixed Up

Previously: Mr. Fitz and Aria couldn't fight that feeling any longer and hooked up in a car. Emily got saddled with Toby as a lab partner all Twilight style, Hanna tried to have sex with Sean, but crashed his car and ended up with a new job a dentist office to pay off the repairs. Spencer stole her sister's Russian history paper and got nominated for the ridiculously named national Golden Orchid award. Aria warned Meredith to find another married man to have an affair with, and then Holly Marie Mom got a nice note from "A" that told her all about her cheating husband. Then "A" wasted some lipstick by writing a note on Spencer's mirror.

Aria shows the girls the note that "A" sent to her mother. They tell her that she's not to blame for this, since her father was the one that asked her to keep it a secret. Aria says that Alison told her she should spill the beans right after it happened. The girls are all sitting around Spencer's kitchen drinking coffee and dressed in what I can only presume are their versions of pajamas, which are carefully arranged off the shoulder shirts that have lemon yellow teddy bears on them, tank tops and knee high socks. Though of course Aria is wearing mismatched black and red printed pants and a green recycling long sleeved half-shirt (yes, that seems like an idiotic article of clothing to me too) with a turquoise tank top underneath it to cover her stomach. Because matching is totally overrated.

Anyway, the girls seem shocked that Alison knew about this, but Hanna is more horrified that the girl hooking up with Aria's dad is named Meredith. She thinks it sounds like an ugly girl name, like someone would have mousy hair and big pores. Well, the mousy hair is right, given what I've learned from Grey's Anatomy. Hanna thinks that if you're going to cheat you should do it with someone who deep conditions her hair. Word to the wise, men out there, word to the wise. Hanna says that she's sorry for making light of things, but laughing (and occasionally crying) is what got her through her dad's departure. Aria doesn't think that her dad will leave, since the affair was over a year ago, but their silence and avoiding eyes makes her realize that it is a possibility.

Spencer changes the subject by telling them she's grateful that they stayed after the break-in, what with her family still in New York until later that afternoon. So, did they all go home and get pajamas? Because I find it hard to believe that Spencer has anything in her closet that remotely looks like the nightmare that Aria's wearing. They decide that they need to clean the mirror, and they decide to go together, because no one wants to be left alone, even with the doors locked. As they head upstairs, Hanna gets a message on her phone. They stupidly decided to unblock their phones to give their stalker even easier access to them. The message says, "Ever wonder what's going on when your back is turned? -- A" and it has an attachment. The attachment is a video of them when they all first saw the message on the mirror. It looks like it was shot from inside Spencer's closet. The girls go upstairs and open the closet, causing stuff to comically fall down on them. Among the items is a tube of lipstick, the exact same shade as the one that is still on the mirror. To prove this, Aria takes the lipstick, puts it on her hand and holds it to the mirror. I think we'd have figured it out without that overly obvious visual, thanks.

In Aria's room, mostly-forgotten Mike watches her put on eyeliner and asks how she doesn't poke her own eye out. He wants to know if she's noticed their parents acting weird around each other. She shrugs it off, then he makes fun of her for only doing one of her eyes. I refuse to believe that he'd notice.

Downstairs, Holly Marie Mom and Chad Dad are bickering about who should take mostly-forgotten Mike to some sort of practice. Oh, he can get there the way he normally does when you pretend he doesn't exist. Chad Dad says that maybe they should see a therapist to work out their issues; she thinks they should talk things out at home. At this point Mike walks past them and to school -- see, he can get around just fine without either of them. Chad Dad wants to know what he can do to make things better. He offers to move out, but she thinks this will only make the kids more confused and make her look like the bad guy. He says they are already acting like sulky roommates, and considers that worse for the kids. Aria hears them bickering, and goes into the midst of them. When dad takes off, Aria tells Holly Marie Mom that Mike knows something's up and she should tell him soon, since keeping this secret for a year nearly killed her. Holly Marie Mom tells her to hold the phone. She knew for a year? Aria thought that Chad Dad told her that he asked Aria to keep things mum. Clearly, that's not the case. Aria offers to stay and talk, but HMM brushes her off.

Hanna is walking around in a short purple sundress and really tall yellow wedges, when she drops the paper bag she's carrying that contains really ugly nurse's shoes. She bends down and nearly flashes the whole population of Rosewood a moon, when Sean comes over and offers some help and offers his condolences on the unflattering uniform that she has to wear to her new job. Sean tells her that he tried to tell his parents that he gave her the keys and that he wanted to pay for the repairs, because he felt guilty about not sleeping with her (what kind of teenage boy is this?), but she says that she's owning up to it and is OK with paying what she owes. In fact, working for his mom will help her overcome her fear of children. She's not sure if six-year-olds bite. He laughs, and then she asks if they are still going to homecoming together. He hadn't really thought about it -- he's got a lot of practice and pressure -- but he thinks they should talk about it. He then hops in the convertible VW bug of another cute blonde girl.

At school, Spencer assures them that no blind girl (even one as clever as Jenna) really broke into her house and defaced her mirror. Aria thinks that she could have had help from Toby. Spencer asks Emily to find out if Toby took a break from pulling the heads off of squirrels to help his stepsister engage in some breaking and entering. They are again interrupted by Russian history professor, who is handing her an envelope from the Golden Orchid people. She doesn't open it, even though Emily wants to know if she won. Hanna thinks she wins awards just for waking up. I guess that's how she accumulated all of that "academic bling" they mentioned.

In Chemistry class, Emily manhandles the beakers and test tubes, so Toby takes over the stirring and she blames overcaffeination. She was up late staying at a friend's house and asks what he did the night before. He was at the grill studying, because Jenna listens to her lectures really loud and he can't concentrate. Was that before or after they saw each other by the trash cans? Or she saw what looked like him in the window? He says he closes the place every night, so I'm guessing his study time was after their meet-up by the trash. He asks if she was at Maya's place, since he thinks she's the newest member of their clique. She says that Maya is just her friend, because she likes different things. Toby says he likes people who are different because this town is too bland with everyone being all homogeneous and whatnot.

Mr. Fitz, who apparently never has classes, is picking up papers, when Aria walks in. He asks if her family is OK, because she wants a six-hour detention or extra-credit assignment in order to avoid going home. He can't stay late, because he has a "thing." She doesn't look pleased about being put off, and he finally explains that he's doing a reading of a story that he wrote. She wants to come, but he's worried that he might hurt himself and go crazy if it sucks, so she'd witness that.

Hanna's sporting her finest dentist office wear in an elevator when Jenna walks in. She tries to back away so she doesn't know she

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Pretty Little Liars




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