At the bar, Aria's sipping coffee as Artie and Fitz are playing darts, and Artie is telling about the time he coerced a young coed out of the library and into his dorm room and Fitz was asleep in the bunk. He explains that Fitz sleep laughs. She says that it's cute and then goes to get some water. Artie tells Fitz that he's totally screwed and Fitz tries to claim that it isn't what he thinks it is. (But it totally is.) And it is going to be OK, because he didn't go seeking it out. (That doesn't make any difference.) He says that this relationship can only end up with Fitz getting fired and sent to jail. (He's not wrong.) Aria walks back over and says that the loser of the next round of darts buys fries. Then she leans into Fitz and rubs his shoulder and says she's having fun. He takes the darts and gets all flustered.
Melrose Mom brings home leftover lamb chops from a work dinner she had and makes the mistake of asking Hanna about her day. Hanna says that she thought getting spit on by a kid was the worst, until she found out about Amber. That's the blonde in the convertible who's giving Sean rides all over the place. Melrose Mom thinks her fake Facebook page has a cute pic, until Hanna says that this girl is trying to steal Sean, and then mom deems her hateful. I will say, for all her flaws, Melrose Mom is totally supportive of her daughter's social life. She also tries to force her to eat lamb chops, but Hanna said that her boyfriend is now driving around with someone who ways eleven pounds, so food is off the menu. Mom speculates that Sean just needs transportation, since Hanna did smash up his car, and she apologizes for not giving Hanna a car of her own. She says if her daughter needs wheels, she should ask her father, but Hanna refuses, saying that dad probably already got one for Kate. Then she and Melrose Mom roll their eyes a bit about dad's new family, and Hanna accidentally drops the bombshell that he's getting married to this new woman. News to Melrose Mom, and she looks totally hurt. She says they've both moved on, but that's obviously not the case, since Melrose Mom's latest hook-up was a detective who she was only using to save her daughter. But after mom walks off, Hanna gets an IM from ThisIsA: "Now I know TWO secrets. Hanna got dissed... and Emily got KISSED! - A" Instead of asking who Emily was kissing, Hanna asks who the person sending the message is. Um, A? I thought he/she made themselves clear. "A" sends an attachment that has the photo booth pictures of Emily smooching with Maya.
At The Grill, Hanna and Spencer are looking at the lipstick tube that was left in Spencer's closet. Hanna insists that was the same shade as Jenna's from the elevator, and Hanna really wants to know what Jenna was doing in a largely empty room for an hour. Spencer wants to call the police to get fingerprints off the tube, but Hanna thinks they'll only try and blame one of the foursome since they picked it up. Toby sits by the window, staring at them, reading Catcher in the Rye. Hanna wonders if Spencer got any more emails, and Spence says not since this morning. Hanna lies that she hasn't either, but maybe she's not counting IMs? Emily walks in looking kind of cute in a short little sundress, clearly there to see Toby, when the girls spot her and call her over. She shoots Toby an apologetic glance before joining the girls who want to tell her all about Hanna's run-in with Jenna. They start gossiping and Toby walks out.
At Mr. Fitz's apartment, Aria asks if all college boys are like Artie, and Fitz says that when she goes to college she can find out for herself. She wants to know if Artie said something about them hanging out. No, why would he think that his friend hanging out with a high school student might be at all inappropriate? He says that being with a high school girl is wrong. She says that she's trying to act mature and not embarrass him, so she doesn't understand why this is a problem. He says it is fine when it is the two of them, but in public, people notice. She says that's just Artie, but after Fitz's weird outburst in class the other day, others will soon catch on, I'm sure. He says that in theory they are a lot more wrong than they are right. He wants to be with her, but he says he can't really introduce her to his friends and hang out in bars. He doesn't want to think about other people when she's around. She's confused about if he thinks this is a good or bad idea. She says that being together feels good, so neither of them should care. And then she starts kissing him.
At The Grill, Spencer gets ready to leave, as she's got to find something cute to wear to tennis the next morning because there is a flirty boy at the club. Hanna wants more details, and Spencer plays coy. A waitress comes over with something for Emily -- it's a CD with a drawing of her on the cover. Clearly left behind by Toby. Hanna wants to know who it is from, and she says a friend from school who has similar tastes in music. She wants to know if she likes this person back, because she thinks the CD is from Maya. Hanna says she's totally supportive and happy of any relationship that Emily may have.
Aria and Fitz stand in his doorway and make out. Again, way to keep this relationship on the DL. He doesn't want her to leave, but she needs to support her mom. She offers to make him dinner the next day. Her specialty is "enhanced" macaroni and cheese, basically fettuccine. Emily lies on her bed in the dark staring at the CD from Toby in the moonlight... not actually listening to the music though.
The next morning Spencer's dad is whipping up some smoothies and she's got on one preppy little tennis outfit. She says she's ready to kick some tennis butt, and he advises her to keep it friendly. She's confused, but basically the client and his kid aren't tennis pros and he wants her to throw the match. She's kind of pissed since she practiced for five hours (I'd be pissed too!) On the court, she's not really playing her full game, but the other daughter is pretty terrible, so dad has her dial it back even more. Chin Dimple 2 sees her hit a serve into the net and looks baffled.
Back at the office building where Hanna works, she's in her regular clothes trying again to check out the room where Jenna sat for an hour. For her stealthy endeavor, she's wearing knee high brown boots, skinny jeans, a long navy sweater, and a sparkly white shirt, through which you can see her midriff baring tank top. And she's carrying her enormous bag. Very subtle and totally incognito. She does use the long sweater to cover her hand when she opens the unlocked door. The room has a red button on the wall, and a guy in a sweater comes out of the door. He calls her Martha, thinks she's his new patient, and tells her the next time she visits she should hit the button so he knows that she's there. He has her fill out some paperwork, and at the top it says that he's a psychotherapist. She whispers, "You're her therapist." He presumes that she's talking to one of her multiple personalities, which actually kind of cracked me up. She says that Martha doesn't want therapy and Martha has to go.
Aria's got her headphones on, and mostly-forgotten Mike comes in. He is upset by their parents arguing downstairs and she says it has nothing to do with the two of them. He wants to know how she knows this info, but she just says she'll take him to the library. Holly Marie Mom is downstairs screaming at Chad Dad about how she befriended Meredith and now she has to see her all over town (well, that was her own oblivious fault). He insists that his family matters the most to him, and he's done with the other woman. He offers to get another job at a different college and says they can pick up and move again. She wants to know if that's why they went to Iceland. Yup. She shows a picture of how happy she looks with him in Iceland and says now she feels like a fool. Chad Dad claims that Meredith was a mistake, and while we zoom upstairs to see Aria listening in wearing a pair of jeans that look like they have a sheet of paper affixed to them, Holly