...Whence Alison was coming back the day she disappeared. She got out of the taxi with all her bags, having supposedly been visiting her grandmother in Georgia, and played off her tan by saying her grandmother golfs, and played off the fact that they were golfing at that same Fairways resort in Hilton Head, which is in South Carolina, with some other gambit. And then it was all tequila and making the girls take her bags in and being just a little sweeter and a little more vicious to Hanna than the others, and then they drank and fought and she disappeared, and now it's a year later.
So in addition to being a pedo with Alison -- which we also knew, because of the sex tape -- Ian was also with her that summer. Which I think is the first indication to any of the Liars about the Alison/Ian thing we already knew, right? Well, thank God it's Spencer on the case. Not that it won't look like another attempt to ruin Melissa's life, no matter how she goes about it. That is going to be delicious, actually.
Hanna's stressing about the missing money and finally her mom just goes, "Don't. Talk. Anymore. Please." She gives Hanna one of her broken-leg sleeping pills, and then asks for one for her own, and they down them together, and it's verrrry creepy and wicked sad, and they both know it.
But then in one of the other pill bottles there's this note from A wrapped around some cash, saying essentially Now you are my bitch forever. I love me some Hanna, but she is the weakest link as far as shit like this. You don't want her as your triple agent. Not even Aria would put up with Mona, you know what I mean? She doesn't have the gumption to successfully evade this latest move. Especially in that chair.
And then there's A, popping hundy after hundy into a creepy little clown bank that screams CLUE so loudly it's almost certain we've never seen it in the background of any episode, any set, at any time. But if we have, you know where your send you guesses.
Next week: A possibly leads Hanna on some kind of literal treasure hunt, Spencer follows up on the Fairways clue, Aria and Emily have lots of feelings about their love lives, Jenna and Toby have a bunch of duck babies with webbed feet and bury them in the backyard, by the central air... Next to Alison DiLaurentis. Oh, and I think the girls see more of the Kissing Rock tape than we've previously seen: Maybe Ian? Probably not the murder itself... Dare we hope for yet another insane twist?