The parents try to be all like, "That's so cute! Because they were poor hippies but later on they got a real ring!" Nope, mom -- insufferably -- got a tattoo when the sharpie [MAYA'S DAD IS A!] wedding ring wore off. Which is when I started siding with Mom, because her whole deal is starting to sound a lot like that family of a-holes in Rachel Getting Married. I love how this entire scene is both a believable dinner with parents, but also a checklist of the most inventive possible ways to break Emily's mom's heart. Just the whole thing, not even the gay part, just the Maya of it all and why she is in my house and all that. Well done.

You can see Maya desperately trying to like climb inside Emily's mom and make her feel okay, and like why isn't my charm and beauty working, I have no other tools and mom's getting more and more freaked and dad's being great and getting into the spirit of things, but it's all just so sad. I mean, it's not just that they're weirdos, is that's the things they... Yeah, okay: The things they don't think are important are the only things that are important to her. You know what I mean?

Everything her life is built around -- the covenant of marriage, housewifery, keeping down the house while her husband defends our country -- are the exact same things their lives are built around disregarding. I mean, personally I think they're maybe a little more right than she is, in terms of lifestyle, but it's really easy to see where she's coming from, for me. No matter how dumb those things look to me personally I don't really think they're dumb or mean she's dumb. I just think there's four Houses at Hogwarts, and they all think they're the best one, and that's fine for everybody.

And I'm not trying to do a Red/Blue or false equivalency here, I'm talking about this particular lady. Like back in the '80s when the SAHMs were like, "You don't love your baby!" and the working women were like, "You don't love yourself!" and they were both kind of wrong but neither of them were totally right. In this case, Emily's mom has built a pretty full life about the things she is about, and Maya's existence spits on it. And then on top of that, her one daughter is never getting married to a guy, which was supposed to be the entire second half of her life.