"B-26"? How about you wait until she B-26.

As Lucas enters, looking spooky, Noel finds some red cups* adjacent to the cash lasagna -- which really should probably go somewhere, don't you think? -- and Hanna has a flashback to him drinking from a similar red cup at a similar party before Alison disappeared: Somehow, before Iceland, Alison schemed to break up Noel and his girlfriend so that Aria could have him. It didn't work, and she doesn't tell what she did, but I'm sure it was awesome. Noel knew that Alison was to blame, which is interesting. He was also beautiful, if you were wondering, in the past. Also, Aria was wearing the pigtails with pink stripes in them. As if anyone could ever love her: "I did it for Aria. I only kill when we need food! And when I'm bored." They don't even register how awesome that was, because amazing things come out of her mouth at all times.

*(Yes I know it's blue, but they're called red cups. It's a blue red cup. Little outfit name of SOLO? Makes red cups in all colors? They make beer taste better? Or at least taste like kissing frat guys? You better be glad I'm not drunk, or I would be educating you about this in a much more intense and repetitive fashion.)

Hanna is so happy to see Lucas -- last time was weeks ago when he ran away screaming from her hospital room -- but he is just drunk and waving back and forth and being weird. He tells her he's no stranger to drinking, and is just real stand-offish and rude and when Hanna asks him to come back to their study dates, he either lies just to be mean or has been on quite the downturn since we saw him last: "I'm kind of off studying at the moment. Been there, done that. This semester, I plan to go from Honor Roll to toilet roll." Hanna warns him about the Mona Punch, I'ma call it Munch, and he calls Hanna Mom and acts like he's been drinking his whole life and it's just douche, douche, douche, all the way down. He starts shit with Sean that is so nerdy and hard to look at that I'm bleep-bloop ...Emily's front porch. Whew.

Maya's like, "I am so sorry I didn't eat the shrimp and then vomit just to make a good impression." Emily says that Dad is totally into her, of course, and that Mom liked her dress, or that she wore a dress, or something along those lines. "Wait till she sees the crease in my jeans," Maya jokes, and I'm sorry. I know the thing to do is hate Maya, but I just never have. Yeah, she looks older than a teenager, like most TV teenagers, but also she's gorgeous and a good actress and a goddamn Vampire Slayer and now she's a hug-crazy lesbian on the tied-for-best show on ABC Family, I mean... What else? She's great. So Maya's exhausted from the pressure and doesn't want to go to Hanna's after all, so once Emily's mom accidentally and awkwardly interrupts their goodnight kiss with a gift for Maya's parents (pleasebeaBiblepleasebeaBible), and gets the usual giant Maya hug from her, what's a girl to do besides... Roam over to see Toby Cavanaugh.