Pretty Little Liars

Episode Report Card
Jacob Clifton: A+ | 2 USERS: A+
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It Gets Better, Then It Gets Worse

"You know what would make me comfortable on the couch, or in this wheelchair, or anywhere really? Financial security." Mom talks about how it was a loan from the bank, and Emily is like, "They give you money in envelopes, not in lasagna" Mom immediately cops to the whole thing and assures Hanna that it's going to be okay: They are now not homeless and have a cushion until the old lady comes back in a year to check if anybody stole her gross money. (Although I suppose if the old lady died, that would really call attention to things, right?) "You just need to worry about getting better, okay? Okay." I like it when she does Hanna's voice like that.

Emily's family is chowing on turkey sausage when we learn that the Fields' are having her girlfriend Maya over for dinner. Why, I can't imagine that going horribly for everybody. What an ill-conceived notion! Her mom -- who seems to be engaged in chewing off her own lips at this time -- asks is Maya has any food allergies or preferences, and Emily panics and says no, and I was going to make a joke about seafood or tacos or something until I remembered I have class and that no matter how ingratiated you feel with a particular community or how liberal your bent, it doesn't make it any less monkeyhouse or hurtful when you point and laugh about their sex lives, so somehow I restrained myself.

Mom runs off to clean the shit out of the entire house because she's nuts and because it's what she does, and Emily asks her dad if possibly her mom is planning on killing her girlfriend at dinner. They sort of chat about how Mom's trying really hard and wants this dinner to go well, but even her dad has to laugh at just how insane the mom is going, because the mom is going insane, because of values and things, and honestly she's being pretty realistic and pretty kind about all this. First they fooled me thinking the dad was going to be mean, and now I feel like the mom is the most sympathetic person because honestly, you deal when you deal.

That country club guy Alex whose name I thought was Ben even though that's a totally different person, he has apparently scheduled a date with Spencer in the middle of the street while her mom is getting coffee, because that's where we find them, kissin'. Mom comes out and sees them and thinks about that time she was tore up from the floor up and he was nice to her, but clears her throat mommishly anyway, and then gets on the phone with Spencer's dad, who apparently exists.

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Pretty Little Liars

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