PAIN CREAM, IT'S A PAIN SCREAM
Emily opens her hospital food thing -- for some reason she has decided to dine in the dark this evening -- and right there is a big old tube of that pain cream so of course she thinks she's detoxing like in Trainspotting and Melissa's devil baby is going to crawl across the ceiling but then no: It's another trick by A, who is like, "Um, how did you not see this coming?"
A just wants us to do our best.
Aria: "That is fucked up! Pain cream!"
Spencer: "How long has this been in your system? Did it damage any organs? What are your phosphate levels? Follow my finger. Wiggle your toes. Push back against my hand. Open your mouth and let me get a look at your..."
Emily: "-- Stop! Who cares that I've been slowly poisoned by performance enhancing drugs? This is on my permanent record!"
Spencer: "Dear Audience. Your medical records are private."
Emily: "They'll tell my parents and my parents will go straight to Danby and then many lies will happen all at once and I will be lined up in front of an execution squad for lying to adults and where the motherfucking fuck is my pain cream?"
Spencer: "We can't let A win. Remember when she ran over Hanna? Fuck her."
Emily: "She already won. She is winning all the time. She is taking us the fuck down. Aria is probably next!"
Aria: "...Did somebody say my name? Sorry, I wasn't paying attention."
Emily: "I said A will probably come after you in Season Three."
Aria: "New plan, we all move to Texas."
Spencer: "You bitches better man up. I am not taking on this ghost alone."
Emily: "Wait, why are you dressed like Alison in my fantasies and Hanna's weird hallucinations?"
Aria: "Get a load of Lucy Ricardo over here wanting us to sneak into the morgue."
THE MORGUE OF THE MATRIX HAS YOU
While Emily's Dad abruptly removes her entire recruiter/HGH storyline off the table by telling her that college can go fuck itself, Spence and Aria make their way to the basement.
Aria: "It sure is cold in this morgue."
Spencer: "Yeah. That's a good thing?"
Aria's Realism: "Oh my God, the ME eats Oreos down here? Hell."
Spencer's Autism: "Bet they stay fresh longer."
Luckily*, Rosewood is one of those hospitals where there are no computers and only one person dies each year, so Alison's file is immediately available.