Pretty Little Liars
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Jacob Clifton: A+ | Grade It Now!
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The Thought You Can't Think

Spencer, verbatim, going through the alphabetically ordered files: "Okay, there's gotta be some kind of system..."

*(SPOILER: Less luckily, one of the bodies down there with them under a sheet is totally not a body it is a living person who is lying there under a sheet listening to every word they say! FUCK!)

THE MARIN MATRIMONIAL MEMORIAL

Hanna: "Mom, why are you cleaning out the fridge of all that stuff? Please don't say it's Dad's favorite foods. Please say you're doing it for when Emily comes home so she doesn't have to look at anything but porridge and we all have to live on porridge. That would be preferable."
Ashley: "I kicked your dad out, kiddo. Again."
Hanna: "That's really going to kick a hole in our plan where he comes back to live with us and you guys get remarried and Alison never dies and I never get run over."
Ashley: "See, that's what I wanted to talk to you about."
Hanna: "He doesn't even love her! He told me he hates her and she hits him! He said his new stepdaughter spits indoors! He only loves you!
Ashley: "Those are some absurd lies, but you're sweet."
Hanna: "Just tell me you want to be with him, and I will go to war to make that happen."
Ashley: "The kicker is that I don't. Your dad is kind of a douche."

MORGUE, WHILE A FAKE DEAD PERSON IS TOTALLY LISTENING! OH MY GOD

Aria: "Spencer, use your FBI-level forensics skills to decode this autopsy report."
Spencer: "It looks like somebody bashed her bitch head in with my hockey stick with my name on it -- probably me, or my sister, or Jason -- and then they buried it in the yard and then got amnesia about it."
Aria: "Well, not Jason obviously, but other than that I follow. Go on?"
Spencer: "And then... Oh, this is awful... Aria, she had dirt in her lungs. She was aspirating dirt when she actually died."
Aria: "You don't mean..."
Spencer: "-- Yes, Watson. Our friend Alison DiLaurentis was buried alive!"

RANDOM STREET, OUT OF COSTUME

Hanna has fucking had enough.

Hanna: "Hey. HEY! YOU! IN THE CAR!"
Detective: "Ma'am?"
Hanna: "STOP FOLLOWING CALEB AROUND!"
Detective: "But I just..."
Hanna: "[Some bogus vague wording where she thinks she's telling him Caleb is a new man and will not pay for his Allentown mistakes, but is clearly also meant to convince the detective that whoever his real client is -- probably a millionaire dad or uncle or something, because most homeless people are in fact just doing it to be jerks -- will think that Caleb has made his own decision not to reenter the family fold, so the guy drives off.]"

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Pretty Little Liars

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