...I can't think of a joke that wouldn't make me look terrible. Rosewood is a terrible place, terrible things happen there. To ladies. Emily has raised $247 to help people stop doing terrible things to ladies. People For The Ethical Treatment of Pain Cremes. Hyperadrenalized Protoreality Anonymous. Shovelfinder Justice. Maybe they're raising money to teach more than one subject at their school. You know what was awesome, remember when they spent weeks rehearsing for a play that they never performed? Or mentioned ever again?
Meredith: "Thanks for all your help, extras! I'm going to go get more water bottles. Hydration is so important!"
Mona: "The nerve! I better blow her up in a minute. That'll prove to those Liars that I am totally not crazy."
HEY ARIA C'MERE & RUIN MY DAY REAL QUICK
Aria: "Ever wonder what your life would be like if you had a dad?"
Caleb: "Lot less trucker dicks, for starters."
Aria: "Anyway, do you feel horrible yet?"
Caleb: "Yeah, you really stirred up some shit."
Aria: "Then my job here is done."
Caleb: "Did we really just have a conversation about something other than you?"
Aria: "No. I pulled such an Aria on you just now that we were actually double talking about me. First because of Ezra's bastard, which is all about me, and second because my father himself is at the least a fraud, if not a murderer, which basically makes me just like you... in my bullshitty entitled mind, anyway."
Some Lady: "Welcome to the marathon for whatever reason."
Regina: "Did you want me to sing the national anthem?"
(Sure, why not. I mean technically, no, but okay.)
Liars: "You know Harold's room that we totally could have just walked into earlier if we felt like it, except he was in there listening to music? Let's make up an elaborate plan utilizing this marathon and the cover of darkness to go ahead and walk into that room when he's not in it. If only Emily were here to join us in this simple plan to go down some stairs into the janitor's closet. If only she could escape Fort Fields, the robot house that runs on an app."
Liars: "Wait, why is your grandmother singing?"
Hanna: "Because she's fucking awesome? Oh, and I totally forgot to tell you guys this, but Mona was on the Halloween Train that night, and has been breaking out of the mental institution on the reg. I coulda led with that, I guess."