Spencer walks downstairs, right into a horrible little moment with Ian, who is drinking scotch on the couch like a fat spider in its web and sort of vacantly grinning at her with his eyes. He's like a diseased cat.
Ian: "Everybody was so worried! We thought you might have run away!"
Spencer, verbatim: "Thank you for your concern?"
Ian: "It would be totally understandable if you did run away, though."
Spencer: "Ian. Shut the fuck up. About everything. Forever."
Ian: "What I'm saying is, maybe you should run away."
Spencer: "What I'm saying is, you are going down in some way. I'm being vague because I have no idea what my next move is going to be, and the cops are up my ass."
Ian: "Yeah, well then what I'm saying is that you're either on Team Ian or I will see you fry."
Spencer: "Okay but I guess what I'm saying is, you just convinced me not to run away, just because Fuck You."
Ian: "I see how I walked into that one. I forgot you are 100% badass."
Spencer: "Yeah, that was like the one thing I needed to hear. Thanks, actually. For being a gross motherfucker."
Ian: "I know when I'm beaten, so here are some random threats while I make a hasty retreat."
Spencer: "Holy... Did I just win one? Spencer Power!"
Of course, Paige shows up at Emily's house after her "date" and blabbers about Emily's window seat and how perfect Emily's life is and whatever, and then admits that Sean tried to kiss her and that it was totally gross.
Emily: "This is why you shouldn't date boys. Sean is relatively nice, in the context of Rosewood, and now you are messing him around too."
Paige: "It's easy for you to say that I shouldn't drag innocent people into my web of lies. Your family totally supports you being gay and dating crazy women and potheads."
Emily: "It's like you haven't heard a single world I've ever said."
Paige: "I just mean that you are a hero and that you invincibly came out of the closet and you're a role model and holding me to your standard is cruel."
Emily: "The fuck?"
Paige: "You're fearless!"
Emily, secretly: "I am not fearless, I am the victim of a multi-person conspiracy that used my sexual identity in a horrific game of cat-and-mouse."
Emily, verbatim: "I didn't 'come out' of the closet, I fell out. On my face!"