Emily: "YOU ARE A LESBIAN."
Paige: "I have no idea what you're talking about."
Emily: "Pssh, okay. Anyway, since we're not dating, I'm cool with letting you do whatever you want."
Paige: "Okay. We're already going on a date."
Spoilers Based On Jacob's Personal Experiences
1. Paige and Sean eventually move in together; Paige keeps showing up at Emily's house anyway.
2. Paige gets Sean pregnant, heavy drinking commences.
3. Massive Facebook Defriending Massacre.
4. Emily goes on two-week bender, screwing everything that isn't nailed down; rest of group walks on eggshells around her, eventually gets the horns anyway.
5. GOTO Step 1 with some other person that is pretty much exactly Paige in another form.
Paige: "But-but-but it's just a group date! Please don't stop secretly being my non-girlfriend! It means nothing to me!"
Emily: "You're only as sick as your secrets, P-Flag. Good thing I'm supernaturally compassionate."
Paige: "I cannot see how I am the bad guy here."
Ella and Byron discuss how weird their kid-created family dinner is going to be. Ella points out the very fact that is central to this series, which is that half the reason Aria is the way she is, is because her parents keep making her carry their secrets around on her back. No wonder she has no concept of boundaries.
Byron: (Immediately goes into defense mode, but stays quiet.)
Ella: "To change the subject, how cute is this? Aria wants a secret of her own, sweet little darling thing, and she's dating some secret boy."
Byron: (Immediately goes into attack mode, in such a way as to horrifically question Ella's parenting.)
Ella: (Takes off her earrings; points out that Byron's not allowed to do or think anything he's thinking or doing.)
Byron: "I'm sticking to my hypocritical guns. As a veteran taker-advantage of young women, I have crucial insight into this romance and its dangers."
Aria hands her collection of non-incriminating trash over to Emily, who is nothing if not obliging, and they talk about how scary it would have been if somehow the sexting had not been entirely sexless and embarrassing, or if she'd called him by name. "Fresh manicures and tiny keyboards: A deadly combination," Aria says, because now she rules.