Pretty Little Liars

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Destroy Everything You Touch Today
In a hurry? Read the recaplet for a nutshell description!

Well, being named a Person Of Interest in the ongoing vanishment investigation of Alison DiLaurentis has really affected Spencer Hastings' general swerve. She know longer understands algebra, for example.

Emily: "Honey, math is hard."
Spencer: "No, I am hard. Algebra is a jerk."
Emily: "Algebra is very abstract. Like you're supposed to find X, but who knows who X is? And sometimes X sends you mean text messages and sets you up with the cops."
Spencer: "Exactly. I used to hunt X, with all my powers, and assign X to random variables, and yell, and stomp around all the time, but now I am X! And I know I am not X! x != x!"

Spencer's mom -- having recently become a person, just like the rest of the formerly evil moms on this show -- sits her down for a long talk about how she looks and talks exactly like Olivia Benson -- before she fucked up her melting face -- and also: The cops are going through all your shit with their search warrant. They are even looking at the barn, and Spencer's bedroom. Reason having deserted Spencer along with math, she cannot understand what this is all about. Mostly her mom just scowls, as usual.

Meanwhile, Aria is using her detective skills to uncover the fact that Byron is, as usual, lying about everything. Specifically this morning, her dad is lying about how Ella is coming over for coffee, even though there are two used coffee cups sitting right there: "She's coming for coffee? So the kitchen table exists in another dimension where that already happened?" I love Aria now, don't you? Anyway, he stammers and lies and acts weird, and meanwhile Aria's face is slowly lighting up like once-yearly dawn in Iceland, and Ella walks in full of gawky lies as well, and finally they come clean.

Montgomerys: "Mayhap."
Mike: "What is everybody doing in the kitchen?"
Ella: "Nobody knows for sure."
Mike: "I am so over you bastards. Tell me when you decide what's going on with my family."

Aria: "Here's what's going on: We are going to make dinner for you, like it's Mother's Day breakfast time. You will sit politely at the table while your children focus their willpower on making you ignore all the problems with your marriage. We will triumph."
Byron: "As long as nobody mentions the fact that I was fucking a student, I see this working out."
Ella: "Yeah, that sounds super likely."

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Pretty Little Liars




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