Pretty Little Liars

Episode Report Card
Jacob Clifton: A+ | Grade It Now!
Destroy Everything You Touch Today

Mrs. Hastings continues to be fabulous with Spencer, once she gets home. No Toby in sight, but that incredible red-leather club chaise in Spencer's room is sexier than he is, not to mention the exciting news that Spencer has the same white chenille throw from IKEA that is currently warming yours truly's lower half. I love having things in common with Spencer! I only wish that chaise was one.

Mom: "You've got a good shot at having the search warrant thrown out. Judge Enwright is a notorious rubber-stamp and he probably didn't even read it. Whatever they find, we can get tossed out."
Spencer: "Why me? Why always me? Is it because I'm constantly pointing the finger and getting the cops involved in my imaginary shit?"
Mom, verbatim: "Listen: Police thinking is like water. It runs downhill and travels the path of least resistance."

What a good mom! No wonder Spencer rules. So basically, once Spencer told Young Hot Gay Cop that she dated Ian, that was all they needed to get their dots in a new random order and start working the case again. Spencer admits that Alison used to enrage her, but of course she would never hurt her. Mom knows that's true, and they hug and it's very awesome, because what Spencer needs most of all is a hug from her mom that lasts about a whole year.

Also in need of a hug? You'll never guess! It's shocking what is about to happen!

There's an ad hoc meeting of the Liars in a school bathroom, where we learn that Hanna has been walking the streets of Rosewood all morning feeling totally bereft and crazed because Caleb fessed up. Spencer is not in attendance, because she lives on her couch now with Toby. If only he knew about the red club chaise they could be snuggling up there in IKEA softness and the whole ugly world really would seem like a faraway dream.

After a litany of little worried Liar faces, the water starts dripping upside down into the faucets and the toilets all start flushing with the sounds of dying girls and the mirrors all get wavy and you can glimpse the spirit realm through them in shadowy fits and starts. Jenna has arrived.

The girls prepare to get the fuck on up out of there, but Hanna lingers. Aria sees the scary in her rising, rising, and tries to pull her out of the bathroom nexus before they're all carried away to Oz or Hellraiser or whatever, but it's too late: Hanna has gone temporarily darkside. She stomps on over to Jenna, smug look of evil she constantly has gleaming from beneath her giant Jackie O's, and then Hanna just slaps the shit out of her.

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Pretty Little Liars




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