Pretty Little Liars

Episode Report Card
Jacob Clifton: A+ | Grade It Now!
Destroy Everything You Touch Today

Ella corners Aria at school to ask how she uncovered the affair her mother is having with her father, and Aria basically just says it's because she has psychic powers, and that's good enough for Ella, because she doesn't really care. What she really wants to talk about is the flirty little G-Rated text message her daughter sent her, and whether they need to talk about boundaries.

Ella: "First I am concerned that you either don't know how to use the phone, or secondly I'm concerned that somehow my affair with your father has broken your mind and turned your Electra thing into an Oedipus thing and now you're going to start trying to act like your father, instead of acting like the girls he fucks like before."
Aria: "No, I was just thrown by this creepy blind girl. Or possibly it was a Freudian text slip, and all the dipshitty things I'm going to do in this episode are actually cries for help to get me out of the statutory situation I've put myself in."

Ella: "Either way, I'm desperate to connect with you and I think teasing you about this text message will do the trick."
Aria: (Has a paranoiac skitz attack that actually scares her mother.)
Ella: "Consider the subject dropped. Sorry."
Aria: "I just don't want you involving yourself in my secret affair. Also, I am going to throw in your face that inevitably your marital secrets become my problem. Let's say that's your fault, even though really it's just because A) Alison was a bitch and because B) I am naturally nosy, hate sausage on my sad bachelor-dad pizzas, and broke into school at night."
Ella: "Somehow you have managed to make me feel guilty about your father's affair."
Aria: "Whatever it takes to get you off the scent of Ezra Fitz. I'm not taking any prisoners on this one, babe."

Every meaningless piece of trash Aria has ever collected having to do with her amazing romance goes into a giant cute purse in case the cops come and go through her shit. Like they'd be all, "This garbage! It must mean Aria is dating an old!"

The one thing she does not grab: The copy of Sherwood Anderson's Winesburg, Ohio, in which he inscribed something like, My dearest student, in school and the boudoir: I can't wait to cross state lines with you and have illegal sex with you. Love, Your Statutory Rapist Ezra Fitz.

Spencer is actually, literally, physically delighted to see old Toby show up at her house. Neither of them go to school anymore, really, which is one of the many advantages to having beaten Alison DiLaurentis to death. Toby does a really smooth, adorable thing about how he recognizes all the unmarked detective cars in Rosewood, and has spotted one across the street from the Hastings house, and then he walks her through bringing coffee to the cops, so they'll know she's not intimidated. It's fairly hot, actually.

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Pretty Little Liars




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