Pretty Little Liars
Stolen Kisses

Episode Report Card
Jacob Clifton: A+ | 2 USERS: A+
YOU GRADE IT
Til The Riot's Gone

Spencer: "If you could just wipe the taste of Wren off your lips, although why anybody would I don't know, I will tell you that Caleb got the fuck on up out of here when he saw what this was. But he was really helpful."
Liars: "I just wish Emily was here so we could watch these without feeling like the new NAT Club. Turn on your phone, Fields!"
Maya, horribly: "I think Emily's got a very old soul. I feel it when I kiss her. I can hear clocks all over the world running backwards..."
Aria: "This is sucky and shitty and weird. Turn it off. Not without her here."
Hanna: "I have no self-control! One more."

Maya, in the woods, dressed for cold, terrified. Very Blair Witch vibe. "I'm such a coward. I know that. I have to face my fears. I can't hide forever. I can't keep being afraid..." Something red flashes her -- a cop's light, or a camera, maybe -- and she drops the camera and it goes to black and the Liars all start hopping around.

Hanna, getting real: "-- Yep. Turn it off and get her here. Now."
Spencer: "At least her phone's on now, but it's just ringing..."

AND WHY?

Because Emily and Paige are swimming laps, of course. Doesn't that strike you as a little, um, metaphorical? We've had these lesbian musical lap-swimming interludes before, but the first one I remember ended with Paige literally trying to drown Emily in the pool. And now they're just giggling and swimming and Emily's never seemed so happy in her life. So there's a lot to unpack, because if it really is swimming, then Paige and Swimming and Emily's Life are all getting wrapped up into a new objective correlative where That Night divides Emily's life in two, and now she can be a person again.

Extradiagetically, this is supported: Let me float all day/ Just be there till I know/ Till I know that/ The riot's gone/ The riot's gone away," so there you go.

Me, I prefer to think of it as a Hayes Code kind of thing. Like how Matt on Melrose Place couldn't have gay sex so he was always shown eating, or in Big Sleep how Lauren Bacall's little sister was always eating with her eyes closed and you somehow had to just figure out that "eating with your eyes closed" is movie code for "having sex on heroin."

"Why Mr. Marlowe, you old private dick you. Why don't you come upstairs and see me up there sometime? Maybe we could 'do a few laps,' if you know what I mean."

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Pretty Little Liars

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