Toby: "Sorry. I told him you wouldn't care about the hockey stick."
Spencer: "...Yeah, I think the jig is up on that one."

Spencer: "I thought for a sec that he thought I killed Alison..."
Toby, and also the music: "DON'T BE RIDICULOUS. THAT IS RIDICULOUS."
Spencer: "Let's review every detail of Alison's death and cry about how my dad thinks I'm a drama queen."
Toby: "Fuck Tha Police, also. They will dick you around, trust me."

THOSE MARAUDIN' MARIN MISFITS

Emily: "That's so interesting about Caleb being in that werewolf Fight Club. I guess he must really love you."
Hanna: "Is that what that means? I just thought it was a vast overcorrection for the fact that he'd been 100% woobified. I like your one better."

Tom & Ashley, coming home drunk at all hours: "It's so much fun fucking since we're not married anymore! And I'm glad no children live here that might be traumatized by what we're about to do all over the place!"

Emily: "Your house is ... Not like my house."
Hanna: "Great, right?"
Emily: "I mean, I'm guessing I could carry on an affair with like a Douglas Fir and your mom wouldn't notice, whereas my mother can psychically tell if I even think about boobs. On the other hand..."
Hanna: "-- Listen! They're doing it on the stairs! It's just like Christmas! Everything is going to be okay!"
Emily: "...Um. Can I borrow your iPod? And your night mask? And some of that Rosewood Amnesia that's going around?"

MIKE MONTGOMERY, MINOR MISCREANT

Aria: "Mike, you said you were going to stop robbing houses of their weaponry and decorative accents."
Mike: "The holy conflagration of my rage has only begun."
Aria: "You punched me in the boob! You stole sleeping bags!"
Mike: "Your boob asked for it! And I like sleeping!"
Aria, verbatim: "You stole from a blind girl!"
Mike: "No, from her boyfriend the cop. Along with a camera and GPS system that will provide you with clues in an upcoming episode, presumably. See, I was in there looking for a gun so I could take you out in your bed, followed by our parents, one night very soon, and..."
Aria: "-- Hold that thought. I have to call my best friend about the origin of this knickknack."