Aria: "Oh no, Jason's arrived! Ezra, don't pay any attention to Jason! Jason, don't pay any attention to Ezra! It's so awkward right now! You guys, isn't it so awkward?! Stop fighting over me! God, this is so weird! Isn't it so weird? I said, 'ISN'T THIS SO WEIRD YOU GUYS?'"

MORE LIKE PENALTY FOX, AM I RIGHT?

Spencer: "A hockey stick?"
Toby: "Yeah. It was all splintered and bloody and weird, like a murder weapon, and then your dad ran off with it like a Labrador."
Spencer: "It's a family trait. We fucking love evidence, what can I say."
Toby: "Oh, and your name was written on it. I probably should have mentioned that upfront."

Flashback Spencer: "Fine, I'll teach you to play field hockey but that doesn't mean I'm your lesbian girlfriend."
Flashback Alison: "Never said you were."
Flashback Spencer: "Because that's the only reason you'd be into this. You're not a frightening thoroughbred like my sister and I. Clearly this is some creepy bisexual scam or plot."
Flashback Alison: "She sounds like she's onto something, doesn't she Emily?"
Flashback Emily: (Crawls inside her own shirt and refuses to deal.)

Spencer: "Aria, do you remember that inconsequential conversation we had two years ago about field hockey?"
Aria: "How on earth do you expect me to remember that when every single episode we misplace entire plotpoints and objects and forget them entirely."
Spencer: "Remember, though? You were wearing that giant pink bow as big as your head?"
Aria: "That's right! Attached to one thigh, gotcha. Yeah, I totally remember... Wait, you're not saying that's the same hockey stick with your name on it that was found in the same yard as that flashback, are you?"
Spencer: "Girl, this is crazy! What is the likelihood of my stuff with my name on it being at my house?"
Aria: "I'd love to join you on this short jaunt into crazy, but all my boyfriends are at my house with my parents and it's getting soo awkward, you wouldn't believe it, I'm like the main character of some movie about a beautiful, precocious girl with 1,000 boyfr..."
Spencer: "-- Just do your flashback already. Jesus."

Flashback Jason: "Alison, put down that hockey stick."
Flashback Alison: "You put down that hockeystick. In your stupid butt."
Flashback Jason: "Stop being a jerk and go see what Mom wants."
Flashback Alison: "You stop being a jerk. You go look up Mom's stupid butt."
Flashback Jason: "Alison, I don't want to hurt you but I will. I will murder you and then so help me God I'll get amnesia about it."
Flashback Alison: "You murder me with this hockey stick and then get amnesia about it. Amnesia of the butt!"