Pretty Little Liars
Surface Tension

Episode Report Card
Jacob Clifton: A+ | Grade It Now!
YOU GRADE IT
Better Than Ezria

Jason & Ezra: "You mean him, right? Not me?"
Aria: "Stop fighting over me, you guys! I mean it!"
Jason & Ezra: "We were just asking, dude."
Aria: "Stop, I'm blushing! Come on, you guys! Act like gentlemen!"
Jason & Ezra: "Oooookaaaaaay, fuck it. Later."

They both try to work her and be like, "Not me, right?" and it's so funny, and the scene is so beautifully done because they don't know about the other one and it doesn't even matter because she's got real shit going on, like, it continues out onto the porch and they're both still trying to be the one that lingers last so Aria can run out like hissing at him. It's amazing, well-acted, and the jewel in the crown of this episode as far as I'm concerned.

MARIN HOUSE OF GETTING REAL

Caleb: "It is so hard for a hacker-grifter in these troubled times."
Hanna: "I have a huge moral issue with you unlocking phones, this episode."
Caleb: "I still don't get that, and it pisses me off, but in any case you should see what I used to do. It was way less legit."
Hanna: "And what was that?"
Caleb: "I can't tell you."
Hanna: "That's not how you get laid, sir."
Caleb: "..."
Hanna, verbatim: "So, where do you come down on the whole natural versus synthetic extensions debate? I mean, does affordability and easy maintenance really outweigh the look and feel of real human hair?"

Caleb: "As if I don't spend twice as long on my hair as you do. But fine, here's the truth. I used to fight in underground cage matches for nihilists and those who had seen it all. Two men enter, one man leaves. I fought Rottweilers, Australians, a flock of endangered jungle parrots. I fought Betty White once, on her 116th birthday, and I barely survived. Once they put me in a giant blender with just the contents of a junkdrawer, which is where I got that scar you noticed that time we did it in the woods. Once I killed a bitchy blonde girl with a hockey stick, and got amnesia. The things I have seen, Hanna."

(Okay, what he actually said was: Actual bad guys in Allentown PA, for whom he hacked into the DMV and "laundered" VIN numbers. And I got so confused trying to figure out what the fuck he was talking about, is that a real phrase, can you really "launder" a VIN number, wouldn't you use another word for that idea, that I just lost track and created the vastly superior Fight Club concept.)

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Pretty Little Liars

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