Flashback Jason: "Alison, put down that hockey stick."
Flashback Alison: "You put down that hockeystick. In your stupid butt."
Flashback Jason: "Stop being a jerk and go see what Mom wants."
Flashback Alison: "You stop being a jerk. You go look up Mom's stupid butt."
Flashback Jason: "Alison, I don't want to hurt you but I will. I will murder you and then so help me God I'll get amnesia about it."
Flashback Alison: "You murder me with this hockey stick and then get amnesia about it. Amnesia of the butt!"
They rake each other's identical faces bloody with their long scary nails and throw each other into walls and down abandoned wells and chimneys and they come at each other with 2x4s that have rusty nails sticking out of them and poison each other with botulism and the whole time, the whole time, the Liars are just watching this shit go down with a sanguinity that is more chilling than the violence itself.
Flashback Jason: Murders his sister and gets amnesia about it.
Murdered Alison: Immediately starts sending mean texts. A tradition which continues to the present day.
Aria: "I'm fairly certain somebody killed Alison, possibly Jason. They certainly wanted to kill each other in a real way we saw and noted was extremely unacceptable."
Spencer: "It was Jason! I am going to fucking kill him."
Aria: "Or it could have been Ian."
Spencer: "Or not!"
Aria: "Update me on the status of the fence Toby's building in your yard."
Spencer: "Work continues apace."
GORGEOUS MARIN KITCHEN: VERBATIM
Hanna: "Em, you don't have to go to the library. It won't bother me if you study here!"
Emily: "All due respect, studying here is like studying at the mall."
Hanna: "I study at the mall all the time!"
Emily: "Yeah, well. I'm different."
Hanna, whispering: "Is this a gay thing?"
Emily, actually having fucking had it by this point: "No, it's a brain thing."
Hanna and Caleb make out and laugh about how dumb and gay dumb gay Emily is for being able to read.
THAT KIND OF PARTY
Everybody politely pretends to give a shit what Ezra's been up to.
Byron: "So, why did you pick Ireland?"
Ezra: "I love Joyce and Beckett, I wanted to see where they started."
Byron: "What a horrible fucking thing to say to a person. Have you met my pretentious daughter?"