Spencer: "Wait, you bought him groceries? He's not actually a baby squirrel, he just looks exactly like one."
Aria: "I am Robin Hood! I take from my divorced parents and give to old unemployable child molesters!"
Spencer: "I've been there. Remember when I bought Toby a truck? Trust me, these arrangements never work out. When you treat him like a baby squirrel, you're taking away his nuts."
Aria: "What did you just say to me? What is even going on with us today."
Ezra Text: "omg jenna invited me 2 bday party - wants 2 see her fave teach 4 1st time lol"
Spencer: "That would normally be really touching, but it's Jenna, so we hate that."
Aria: "My God, what a devious birthday web. What could she be planning? And how can you be writing a paper while these epic events that affect me are taking place?"
Spencer, for real: "Don't be silly! I'm not writing a paper, I'm hacking into my mom's email to find out the terms of Garrett's supervised release."
Aria: "God, you're insane. I love it."
Paige: "So apparently in 2012 you can reschedule movie tickets. It's as simple as picking up the phone. Oh, sorry, I didn't realize you were changing clothes in front of me for some reason."
Emily: "I'm distracted by this party."
Paige: "I know, right? I'm so excited that a blind person can see."
Emily: "I don't have time to discuss your naïveté right now. I have to learn how to operate a clip-on necktie, the easiest piece of clothing since Uggs."
Paige: "I don't understand them either, for some reason. But how sexy for me to try."
Emily: "Back up off me, chum. I have some things I'm dealing with."
Paige: "Did you know Jenna and I were lab partners one time? She scared the shit out me. Hey, what's this random flask doing in your armoire?"
Emily remembers that she sometimes drinks.
Emily: "Oh my God, a flask."
Paige: "Is it yours? It's nice."
Emily: "If by 'nice' you mean 'makes you take long car rides with blind bitches and dig up graves,' then yeah."
Paige: "I hope it doesn't have roofies in it, because I'm about to drain this little guy."
Jenna: "Thanks for all your help with... Whatever it is that you're helping me with, Melanie Mayron."