Next AM in the Quad, it takes the cops about five seconds to round up all four Liars and take them in to the pokey, because guess what: That was not human blood, it was rat blood, because as A is about to point out, if they rat her out they are going to bleed. (Also, A has four cages with giant white rats in them named after each of the Liars, and it looks like Spencer the Rat paid the price this week.) And not just that, but there wasn't even a golf tournament at Hilton Head that summer. So the whole thing is fake and not from the memorabilia boxes at all, or something.
But also, wasn't she strangled? And didn't we hear her having strangle/sex noises and making strangle/sex movements on the tape? And wasn't Ian clearly horny and not calling her a stalker when they made out on the tape right before he killed her? So many questions this week.
And who even cares, because get this theory, which all of the Liars like psychically come up with at the same time despite not discussing it aloud: Alison was the one that pushed the drunk ho, because Alison was stalking Ian and she got in the way, and maybe Alison blew up Jenna because Jenna was also in the way, and maybe this is all about Ian but not because he killed Alison: Maybe this is all about Ian because Alison was herself the serial killer, which means that her killer and/or A can't even leave a decent trail of breadcrumbs because new Alison Secrets themselves keep getting barfed up on a regular basis.
Listen, I believe it. If there were any way for her to have murdered herself and be A and if there are multiple A's to be each of them, and plus also be a teenage serial killer before she killed herself and went on to blackmail her friends from beyond the grave, I do believe that Alison DiLaurentis would have found it.
Next week: First of three, with all kinds of shit hitting the fan and hopefully no more room for this fillery red-herring stuff.