Pretty Little Liars

Episode Report Card
Jacob Clifton: A+ | 2 USERS: A+
YOU GRADE IT
Touch Of Weevil

...Back into the flashback, where Alison appears out of nowhere and they're all drunk off their asses, and Alison laughs when they tell her about the drunk neck girl, "Note to self: Don't drink and dive," and then brashes her way through to the point of getting a ride back to Rosewood from some cops, which scares the girls but she goes, "The bolder the move, the less anyone questions it." Like if you say chillax, like Alison just did, you better fucking own it.

Things are much cooler in the real world. "I think my character's being totally selfish," Mona whines: "I don't even know how to play that." Even with the creepy flute, I think Mona's a nose ahead this week after that line. So awesome. Anyway, Ezra changes the subject to whether Mona's character (the teacher Miss Fern, who pretty much just spends the entire thing calling Rhoda out) is "forgivable," eyeing Aria, because we've changed the subject around entirely and now he's asking if a given teacher, a Mr. Schmitz let's call him, is forgivable. Aria responds that it's unforgivable if she's only thinking of herself, and Ezra dismisses everybody, and they're all grateful to go because of the constant weirdness of them.

PLLs left alone with the practice room, it takes Spencer about three seconds to find a trophy in one of the props, a golf award from Hilton Head the summer of Ali's lying ass, and the bottom of it is totally caked with blood, like from the head* of a girl, if you beat her head in with it. All the Liars run around in circles, screaming and pulling on their own hair, and finally decide to take it to the cops and not fuck around and let it get stolen like usual. Which obviously means A planted it and is fucking with them, or else they'd find a reason to stall and let it get stolen and then accuse Ian of stealing it.

*(Rhoda beat the little boy to death with her tap shoes, resulting in horseshape bruises all over his head and face. This shit won Pulitzers and like Oscars, back in the day. Maybe people really were less nuanced back then.** Like, the whole genetic destiny thing was already disproven by this time, even August Derleth pointed that out, and that dude believed in, like, Chthulu.)

**(On the other hand, speaking of the shocking naïveté of people in the recent past, have you ever seen that movie Bigger Than Life that Nick Ray made before Rebel Without A Cause? It came out the same year as the movie of The Bad Seed, which was only two years after the novel was published in 1954, and it details the Journey Into Madness of one man who is pushed to psychotic break by the new and powerful "miracle drug" ... cortisone. Makes you wonder how they even survived all the way to 1960, doesn't it?)

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Pretty Little Liars

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