Toby falls off a building and breaks his arm, thanks to A, so after a very fucking uncomfortable visit from Sister Dear, Spencer decides that she needs to make their breakup permanent. Wren is only too happy to play along, as her new fake boyfriend, but it's Emily that has to deliver the news -- and by episode's end, Toby's left Spencer the Truckbaby and run off into the late afternoon. Oh, and if you were worried that Jenna was just rebounding back to her brother after Garrett, I wouldn't: She's once again having creepy public dates with the one and only Noel Kahn.
About whom Mona is still weeping insanely. Maybe he really did break her. But Hanna finally realizes that -- just because her own, her friends', and her great love's life are at stake -- doesn't mean she can't take a moment to dish about Noel Kahn. Especially once she's destroyed Caleb's USB drive by, for some reason, tossing it in the blender -- pissing him off and breaking the appliance, of course, but doing little to impede the investigation.
Which investigation itself, well, you know the drill: Some twists, some turns, some shocks, nothing really matters that much. The reason A is so obsessed with the box comes back up when Caleb's video technology reveals that Garrett, Jenna and Ian were in Alison's bedroom the night she was murdered, going through her shit and talking mad trash about her. So the Liars dive back into the box, finally locating that doll inside which Ali was keeping all her threatening notes and scary evidence, and realize that Alison was being stalked and harassed by A long before her death, which we knew from Halloween. What we didn't know is that Ian taped this little NAT Club meeting in her room precisely because Garrett wanted out.
Aria, as usual, has her own little plotline separate from everybody else, because everybody else has the sense God gave a cantaloupe. Her fake relationship with Holden now in full flower, she's more than happy to keep stalking poor Ezra until the Liars convince her that Holden is gay. Since that's obviously what's going on, but it's this show, that's clearly not what's going on. Maybe he is into black girls, is the consensus. Either way, he's willing to visit the city with her as many times as it takes for Ezra to finally get a restraining order... Until an undergrad convinces Ezra to go after her -- in the rain -- by... Quoting Almost Famous's misquotes at him, of course. In the ridiculous carnival of their stupid relationship, we may finally have reached the big top. Anyway, they're back together, and it was pretty amazing how it went down.
In the end, the Liars' curiosity about Caleb's ongoing decryption of whatever is piqued enough that they're willing to agree to keep his involvement with the investigation secret from Hanna. Meaning that at this point, pretty much everybody is lying to everybody else -- like some big kind of Lying Game or something! -- in order to protect each other, and playing time against like three different countdowns before the next person dies, or the NAT strikes again, or A spins the roulette wheel and comes after somebody new.
Next Week: I'm guessing Hanna goes ballistic, considering the A-Tag just showed her carefully snipping apart pictures of the four main couples and destroying first Ezra, then Toby, and then a third unseen person who is clearly Caleb. It's getting to that point in the season where it's nice to know there is going to be some resolution to some of this stuff, but still moving fast enough that you don't really mind the ride. Especially when it provides Jenna and Mona -- and Noel Kahn, of course -- with something to do.
Alison was menaced by A before she even died, which we didn't know about until Halloween; whatever messages she was getting from A went unnoticed once her box of stuff was given to Aria, but it's something A was willing to beat Emily mercilessly to get back. (I hadn't put that together with Halloween for some reason.) They ran over A and got her cell phone. What else. Aria and Holden are each other's beards, and half the creeps in this town were all in the same creepy club, back in the day. Noel broke up with Mona and Spencer broke up with Toby, for different reasons... Oh, and Caleb became an Honorary Liar, which is still bugging Hanna.
Liars: "Hanna, stop fucking around and give us the evidence Caleb decrypted."
Hanna: "This is a most dangerous game, but fine."
Aria: "Since it was clearly never Lucas to blame for anything, and he's off in his other gay gambling addiction storyline we barely know about, I'm back to thinking it was Garrett that attacked Emily."
Emily: "That would be sad. Every friend I have eventually tries to stuff me in a trunk. I guess this means Spencer's going to date him when Jenna's done."
Hanna: "Let this be the end, please, of Caleb's involvement in this deal."
Spencer: "Focus. Let's see what has been uncovered on my tiny, tiny netbook."
The video -- "I know you wanna kiss me," Ian getting dressed after they did it in the dirt -- switches to a new thing: Ian secretly recording creepy doings in Ali's bedroom. Garrett leads Jenna in, and everybody wonders where the other member of the NAT Club is, namely Jason.
Ian: "Okay, Alison still won't give us our videos, so we got problems."
Garrett: "This is all your fault. I knew you'd go too far, and those secret videos are going to bite us in the ass. That's why I tried to leave the NAT Club."
Ian: "Just shut up and help me search the bitch's bedroom for our secret videos."
Are these just the Peeping Tom ones or what? I hope it's even worse than that. The Liars realize Caleb must have watched this, which puts him into more danger. Garrett finds that secret box, and the video goes dead.
Spencer: "Okay, so solve the problem and then we'll all be safe. Including our boyfriends and girlfriends."
Hanna: "I'm not great with time management as it is."
Liars: "What we have learned is that the NAT Club -- including Jenna -- was in Ali's bedroom the night she died. Despite everything they've claimed."