So clearly Holden's not gay after all. Aria goes over to figure it out.
Aria: "How's the return to American society going?"
Holden: "Well, my dad's having an affair with a student and I fucked a teacher at a bar, so... Oh, and I keep wearing these hideous necklaces and feathers all over myself."
Aria: "Been there."
Holden: "Actually, you've already helped me reintegrate into America pretty well. I won't bother to explain that statement, even after you ask me about it."
Aria: "Are we still going on a date tomorrow? Because you look even better than last week."
Holden: "Sure, a fake date. What about Ezra?"
Aria: "Trust me that it's not worth talking about."
A hot black chick walks by, Holden makes a sexy face, and things assume a whole new shape.
Caleb is doing some kind of cyberwolf manipulation that brings another part of the videos into focus: A very clear picture of Garrett... Who is sitting at the next table over! Caleb gets up to run, and Garrett calls out to him! The jig!
No, he just left his keys on the table -- you know, that huge keyring Caleb has for keys, like to the car he doesn't own and the home he doesn't have -- and also because he needs to say some weird things.
Garrett: "Trust me, I know what that's like! You get so wrapped up in something you forget where you are! Two hours later it's like, Where did I even park my car? Did I even drive here?"
Caleb: "Um, that was a weird thing to say to a stranger. Also, that's not what it's like to be a person. Bye."
Garrett creepily drinks his coffee. Who knows. I just think it's funny that he did the exact same "cryptic nonsense" move he accused Spencer of, like he's just some random police officer off-duty saying random shit to menace a pretty high school boy who was just hacking a computer outside a café.
Garrett, to that same squirrel: "You know what I mean? Doesn't that happen to you?"
But the squirrel keeps her secrets. She always knows where her car is located.
Garrett grins like he's got the world figured out, and takes a bite out of his enormous scone, and wonders why he just confessed to a child that he has some kind of dissociative disorder where he loses huge blocks of time.
Hanna's dressed like Aria -- which is to say like Tippi Hedren at a speakeasy -- Aria's dressed like Spencer -- which is to say sensibly -- Spencer is dressed in a lovely gown, and Emily's wearing a cute denim jacket with intense cuffs.