Pretty Little Liars
The Blonde Leading The Blind

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Jacob Clifton: A+ | Grade It Now!
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Spencer Vs. Human Emotion

Mona tosses the necklace in Noel Kahn's face, and he stares her in the eye as he's tossing it in the trash. So nasty! See here what Noel Kahn thinks of your trinkets. Hanna follows her into the bathroom to tell her that she needs other people around, and that she has terrible choices in boyfriends, and whatever. Finally she's like, "Everything I'm saying is horrible, sorry."

Mona: "Let me try to explain Noel to you, since none of you bitches get it. He is awesome! He is a great liar, he looks like a million bucks, and he has no soul. He has hypnotic powers and could kill any of us without a second thought. I honestly don't get why you guys are so hard on him, but I can say it makes me feel a distinct lack of sympathy for getting dumped."
Hanna: "Fine, he's a psychopathic supervillain."
Mona: "That is what made us perfect together!"
Hanna: "Let's go to dinner tonight and get you back to being creepily obsessed with me."
Mona: "That would really help, thanks."

Hanna! Please remember your time management issues. You already have a date with your doomed boyfriend. Also, I love how even on this show where time and space do not signify and people disappear or just forget entire months of their lives, on a whim, Mona is still having the worst and longest breakup of all time. And you know why? That's right. Noel Kahn.

Anyway, Mona leaves, Hanna follows, and just you guys guess who's been hanging out in the bathroom like a freak, listening to every word with her super-senses! She pops out of a stall at a crazy angle and smiles into the depths of whatever crazy place she lives. What does the world look like to Jenna? I bet it's like in Predator but all she can see is the infrared shadows of where the exits are, and weapons. And exactly where to stare to be as creepy as possible.

All the people are back! Jenna! Mona and Noel! Toby! Alison! Wren! Goethe! All your favorite characters.

ARIA BULLSHIT

Stalker voicemail #1,000,000 involves somehow making a date with him inside the date she's going on with Holden, so that he can finally prove that they are meant to be together some more. He thinks about deleting it -- DO IT! -- but no. Not enough strength for that today. Oh, Ezra. If you'd just give up on her you'd actually deserve her.

TOBY'S IMPENDING DEATH FROM LAST WEEK

Cleaning up the worksite, Toby climbs up on the loosened scaffolding, which starts shaking itself like there's an earthquake or a production intern just out sight shaking it, and then pretty much immediately falls sixteen stories to his grisly death.

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Pretty Little Liars

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