Previously, Jackie Molina rose from Ezra's past to stare and be weird, but luckily Aria had embarked on a pre-collegiate womanhood experience and forgot to be neurotic about that for just long enough to piss Jenna Cavanaugh off all over again. Oh, and Jason DiLaurentis took his shirt off, which seems to have thrown Aria's game -- such as it is -- completely. Emily fell into A's web of recruitment deception just as her mother was on the verge of joining P-FLAG, and it was this whole swimmer drama and Texas mess.
Hanna took up matchmaking full-time -- between Lucas and that girl, her old set of parents, and herself and Caleb -- but has not yet found Mona a new boyfriend to distract her from her Hanna obsession. Spencer stole her sister's engagement ring for some fast cash and now it's gone forever, and even though Ian is irrevocably dead, scary people are still cruisin' around her house all the time doing mayhems. Melissa's mood has yet to improve. The mystery of Alison's murder was solved, for all of five seconds, when Ian's suicide body was found with a note whining about how it's hard out here for a girl-killing pedo.
Aria: "Is this a suicide note? Or a confession?"
(It is both.)
Spencer: "It's both, duh."
Hanna: "Turns out I snapped a photo of the confessicide note and sent it to Emily's iPad, because occasionally quick thinking is my deal."
Emily: "I just don't want anybody thinking that we can relax or act normal for even a minute."
Spencer: "I certainly was not planning on that."
Melissa, who is probably in the booby hatch by now: "I wish one of you had hocked your iPad, instead of my precious heirloom, to buy that truck for Toby."
Garrett: "Hey it's just me, your neighborhood baby-faced policeman buddy with ill-defined relationships to all of you and who is secretly dating Jenna."
Spencer: "Great. What are you doing here?"
Garrett: "Dropping off some evidence or whatever, various things covered in rat blood that we thought the school could use. Sorry about how your molester's body has been dead for at least a week."
Wait, what? Okay, in fact A has been texting Melissa on Ian's behalf this whole time and just perching there near his dead suicide corpse, stealing horseshoes and writing weird notes and whatever. You think A can't get creepier and then you find out she's been babysitting dead pedos and chilling out in abandoned barns. For some reason this causes Emily to go abruptly batshit: