What's not at all confusing is that Alison was on pleasant terms with Ian Thomas -- her stalker, pornographer and lacrosse coach -- until the very hour she died. Of course she was. He was probably her favorite person on earth. She probably loved him for how gross he was just like the girls loved her. Creeps probably did it upside down watching Bumfights, or competing to see who could drink milk in the creepiest fashion.
Anyway, next week: Fashion show! Gone horrifically wrong! The most beautiful words in the English language!