Pretty Little Liars
The Devil You Know

Episode Report Card
Jacob Clifton: A+ | 1 USERS: A+
YOU GRADE IT
Cyberwolf: Based On The Novel Push By Sapphire

YEP, KIND OF

Jason shows up at Aria's with Mikey Montgomery in tow: Seems it was Jason's house that Mike was trying to break into. Aria thinks about parenting him and then realizes that not even she is insufferable enough for that, so she elects to linger on the porch being mystified by her bro and gazing into Jason's absurd amount of a face.

Jason: "Apparently Mike thought nobody was home, because of how people constantly die or move into or move out of or dress up like Alison in my house, so the fact that the lights were off was inviting to him."
(He stares at her for ten minutes like a fucking psycho.)
Aria: "You know what's inviting to me? Your dead-eyed, unblinking sexual staring."
Jason: (Stares at her until Labor Day.)
Aria: "Yeah, like that. Anyway, sorry my brother's the worst. He's been bluetoothing like a bastard lately and I'm afraid he's going to cause another divorce."
Jason: (Stares at her until her hair catches on fire.)
Aria: "Seriously, with the staring."

She closes the door; he continues to stare until the wooden door buckles and the glass in the windows starts to crack with a sound like tiny silver bells. Somebody needs to call 911 and tell them Jason DiLaurentis is having an event on a porch.

EMILY HASTINGS #1 DETECTIVE AGENCY

You need black nail polish for this part.

1) Print out every text message, email, or chat you've ever received.
2) Using an X-acto knife, cut them into tiny slivers. Remember to be careful with the knife, because it is sharp. If you don't have one, ask your mom who is into scrapbooking. Do not tell her what this is for.
3) Gluestick the tiny slivers of message into a notebook with fun blank paper in lots of different designs. You're going to want to remember this wonderful time in your life.
4) Write cryptic, crazy notes next to the pieces of words so that people will understand that fully becoming Spencer Hastings has become your full-time deal.
5) Invent entire new symbological and cryptographic systems in order to make sense of the unordered chaos that is now your life. Every message or part of a message could easily, for example, map onto phrases from the Old Testament or Shakespeare's Second Folio. Try it lots of different ways, noting with your crackhead-looking red marker whenever things almost fit.
6) Stare at the mess you have made. Realize you may have misplaced your marbles at the schizophrenia store.

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Pretty Little Liars

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