This is the best part, though. This shit killed me so hard:
Emily: "Can you describe her voice or estimate her age?"
Logan Reed: "I don't know. I don't know how to describe voices!"
It's so great and amazing when he says this that Emily just gives up and walks out of there. Just fuckin' bounces.
Foster Mother Janet abuses Caleb right there outside the school office, using words, because she is so irritated that she had to drop off paperwork at the school. Hanna listens and dreams up ways to make Caleb's life worse. Through helping.
Aria: "Mike, why are you avoiding me?"
Mike: "I'm not avoiding you! I am just scared of your shoulder pads! And bored."
Aria: "Seriously, you're just bored enough to break into Jason's house? A place where teenagers die all the time?"
Mike: "You know how this show has no shame about wandering blithely away in the middle of storylines that are actually important, and yet never fails to close loops you don't care about? I am the Camping Equipment Burglar of 2011. That was my spree."
Aria: "You are the boob-puncher! You punched me in the boob!"
Mike: "Yeah, that was bad. Sorry. Please don't tell on me or our parents will break up."
Aria: "They keep gettin' me with that one."
Mike: (Broods smoothly away.)
Aria: "...Wait, Mike! Wait up! I still don't understand why we even had this conversation! Or what is going on with you! You are mean to everybody, even Ella Montgomery, and you have the bluetoothing thing, and you're also stealing camping equipment from all of my friends? And punching boobs? That is so many things! Pick a thing! I got Jackie Molina and Jason DiLaurentis on my plate right now, I can't be screwing around with your generalized acting out right now. Unless there is a Noel Kahn at the end of this story, somebody* is gonna freak."
HASTINGS HOUSE OF CONTINUALLY DIMMER LIGHTING
Spencer: "Hey, Melissa. It's time to talk about how we always fight but secretly love each other, and then we can promise that things are going to be different from now on. Like in every episode."
Melissa: (Drools, silently.)
Spencer: "Okay. Here goes. As part of this new honesty deal, I am going to ruin everything because I'm being blackmailed. Remember a few weeks ago when we had that contrived fight and you implied you'd choose Ian over me by not remembering that inane story about the jump rope? Long story short, I hocked your precious..."
Veronica: "-- Cockblocking honesty is what I'm all about! Go set the table."
Spencer, verbatim: "I'm going to go set the table."