Ashley: "Ex-husband, our daughter would like to tell you that you never should have left us, because I have made a hash of our lives. Also that we should do it. Have some wine?"
Dad: "How about a martini?"
Ashley: "No, we are going to drink this entire bottle of wine and then I'm going to make an assault on your soon-to-be-remarried trousers."
Dad: "Let me open that for you."
Emily's Computer: "Somebody crashed me! Blue Screen of Death! No more videos! If only the Liars knew about the Cloud. Or still had the USB drive with that information. Or if only this had already happened like ten times, so you'd know to watch out for it."
Emily: "I am so consumed with the hundred other things going on in this episode that I can barely care about this latest thing. I'm sure the open house situation is to blame."
Pam: "Speaking of, time to pack up. Although there's less stuff to pack, now that our garage has been burgled. Who steals camping equipment?"
Emily: "Off the top of my head? Hanna, Ian, Toby, Caleb, Paige and myself. Most of those, multiple times. We are a running-away bunch of mothers."
New Jason not only resembles Alison to an amazing degree, but more importantly he looks precisely like the boyfriend on the cover of every teen novel published from like 1975 to the present day: Overly lush, chin-dented and glamorous. He could be the Fabio of tween lit. His hair alone could bring on your menses.
Spencer: "Hey, Jason. Remember how we were totally weird together at the funeral, and then totally weird together a couple other times? I brought you some brownies. Let's get weird."
Jason: "Hold on, first I have to throw shit at this adorable dog that keeps digging at this one suspicious spot in my yard... There. Now, what weirdness can I do for you?"
Spencer: "I just wanted to ask some unsubtle questions about when you used to hang out and do drugs with Ian, and then he killed your sister, and then he tried to frame me for it and kill me also, and then was killed by a ghost ninja, and is now himself haunting the woods."
Jason: "Wait, Ian killed my sister? That changes everything. I'm going to go from being slightly sketchy to full-on crazy, okay? I was already getting my Jenna on, poking into shit and having a mysterious agenda, but now I'm seriously going to go hardcore on it. Like, kicking down drywall and worming into crawlspaces and stuff."